Crap aftershaves of your youth

[Goatman]

This is a real nostalgia-fest - proving conclusively that Arrse is a refuge for old farts

My ex bought me Tabac and Denim which I didn't use much.

I bought her Chanel No5 which she didn't use - and my daughter inherited.

Before I met her I thought this stuff was cool ( as a spotty 15 year old)- but the anti-perspirant rather than aftershave.

Ceeeeee-darwood!

 

[Old Stab]

This is a real nostalgia-fest - proving conclusively that Arrse is a refuge for old farts

My ex bought me Tabac and Denim which I didn't use much.

View attachment 551928
I bought her Chanel No5 which she didn't use - and my daughter inherited.

Before I met her I thought this stuff was cool ( as a spotty 15 year old)- but the anti-perspirant rather than aftershave.

Ceeeeee-darwood!

View attachment 551927

I have a vague recollection of that bottle. I think I may have had it at one time, many years ago.

 

[Border_Reiver]

Ha ha! Is that the same spray that the two blokes on Bottom drenched themselves with, and were followed by a pack of hounds? I read later on that it is the same chemical that farmers use to get pigs to breed. And they pay considerably less for a much greater amount.
There used to be a vending machine in the gents at Buffalo Joe's on Gateshead Quayide, which dispensed such sprays. Or they may have been wet-wipes with the pheromone on. Not like I ever bought any. There was a drawing on the machine of the type of top totty you were sure to pull.

Was the drawing copied from Viz .... I give you two girls oot on the toon ...

 

[Cold_Collation]

This is a real nostalgia-fest - proving conclusively that Arrse is a refuge for old farts

My ex bought me Tabac and Denim which I didn't use much.

View attachment 551928
I bought her Chanel No5 which she didn't use - and my daughter inherited.

Before I met her I thought this stuff was cool ( as a spotty 15 year old)- but the anti-perspirant rather than aftershave.

Ceeeeee-darwood!

View attachment 551927

I used to use the Cedar Wood spray-on. I still would if I could get it. It was a nice smell.

 

[ordinaryforces]

There was a pheromone spray you could buy which was advertised in men's magazines and virtually guaranteed to have girls drop their panties as soon as they smelt it on you. However buying it through mail order got you onto a sucker mailing list and you then got junk mail advertising every scam product and investment under the sun.

Whilst the product wasn't cheap, I reckon the makers got more money from selling on your address to con merchants they got from the spray.

And you know this..how?

 

[Tricky1982]

I used to douse myself in this for nights out when I was late teens/early 20's back around the turn of the century, and to be fair it worked a treat. I remember being in the shite nightclub in Bridlington once with a not unattractive girl draped over me biting my ear and telling me I smelt like sex, after which I went home with her for an energetic rattling like you do at that age! Wouldn't wear it now but the smell is nostalgic

 

[AdminVortex]

I used to douse myself in this for nights out when I was late teens/early 20's back around the turn of the century, and to be fair it worked a treat. I remember being in the shite nightclub in Bridlington once with a not unattractive girl draped over me biting my ear and telling me I smelt like sex, after which I went home with her for an energetic rattling like you do at that age! Wouldn't wear it now but the smell is nostalgic
View attachment 552305

Ah yes. Another evocative scent that brings the memory of ATC camp at RAF Rudloe Manor back.

Could the whiff hide the heady aroma of desperation and awkwardness that cloaked us?

 

[Gardner6LXB]

I used to douse myself in this for nights out when I was late teens/early 20's back around the turn of the century, and to be fair it worked a treat. I remember being in the shite nightclub in Bridlington once with a not unattractive girl draped over me biting my ear and telling me I smelt like sex, after which I went home with her for an energetic rattling like you do at that age! Wouldn't wear it now but the smell is nostalgic
View attachment 552305

Like you, I wouldn’t wear it now, but I managed to get one of those little sample bottles from a perfume shop & will once in a while put a dab on the back of my hand. Very nostalgic. Funny how a smell takes you back somewhere.

 

[Sexton Blake]

Like you, I wouldn’t wear it now, but I managed to get one of those little sample bottles from a perfume shop & will once in a while put a dab on the back of my hand. Very nostalgic. Funny how a smell takes you back somewhere.

You’re not from Bridlington by any chance are you?
Circa 2000’s?

 

[Lardbeast]

...SWMBO has even bought me beard oil to keep it looking good.

Oh dear. Try not to spill your frappalattacino on your checked shirt and skinny jeans.

 

[Old Stab]

Oh dear. Try not to spill your frappalattacino on your checked shirt and skinny jeans.

Fuck that!
Coffee, black, no sugar.
You can stuff skinny jeans up your arse as well,along with your mochafrappiatcho with skinny Soya milk.

I was happy rubbing a bit of WD40 into it once a week tbh.

 

[Lardbeast]

Your squealing denial of queefery is noted.

 

[diehard57]

I used to douse myself in this for nights out when I was late teens/early 20's back around the turn of the century, and to be fair it worked a treat. I remember being in the shite nightclub in Bridlington once with a not unattractive girl draped over me biting my ear and telling me I smelt like sex, after which I went home with her for an energetic rattling like you do at that age! Wouldn't wear it now but the smell is nostalgic
View attachment 552305

How was you supposed to pronounce this? Was it ‘Joop’ or ‘Hoop’?

 

[Old Stab]

How was you supposed to pronounce this? Was it ‘Joop’ or ‘Hoop’?

Depends on if you were Royal Navy or not I suppose.

 

[Lardbeast]

How was you supposed to pronounce this? Was it ‘Joop’ or ‘Hoop’?

Yoop, with the 'oo' similar to poor.

 

[Dicky Ticker]

How was you supposed to pronounce this? Was it ‘Joop’ or ‘Hoop’?

the "ll" was silent

 

[Gardner6LXB]

You’re not from Bridlington by any chance are you?
Circa 2000’s?

Thankfully not.

 

[PuriPuriManTumas]

The “swerve young Ocker” during the ‘70s ‘n ‘80s got conned into purchasing gallons of Brut 33 ... apparently the ladies couldn’t resist it! I was given a bottle of the bilge one Festering Season, and inadvertently left it sitting on a veneered chest of drawers, to be greeted a few days later by the veneer discolouring and lifting; unbeknown to me it had a fine crack in the bottle neck. Made damn’ fine paint stripper it did! Similarly, the Talc made good anti-ant powder, coz I think if they walked thru’ it, it dried their joints out so much they seized up and the little sods carked!

 

[longtimeout]

The “swerve young Ocker” during the ‘70s ‘n ‘80s got conned into purchasing gallons of Brut 33 ... apparently the ladies couldn’t resist it! I was given a bottle of the bilge one Festering Season, and inadvertently left it sitting on a veneered chest of drawers, to be greeted a few days later by the veneer discolouring and lifting; unbeknown to me it had a fine crack in the bottle neck. Made damn’ fine paint stripper it did! Similarly, the Talc made good anti-ant powder, coz I think if they walked thru’ it, it dried their joints out so much they seized up and the little sods carked!View attachment 552416

Ah Delvene!

I may need a minute alone with my teenage self...

 

[noliveroundsemptycasespr]

One evening whilst bored some mates and i emptied one of the lad's bottle of Brut,(he was on patrol at the time) and refilled it with piss.
He never said a word about it afterwards,either he didn't notice or he preferred the new fragrance...