Cracking one off

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Efargee20, Nov 30, 2005.

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  1. This term amuses me no end as I've been out the Corps (REME soon to be Kwik Fit) for about 14 years and only recently saw this posted somewhere. Its an all time army greatest slang term that will keep me doubled over for years to come. Any more on the same topic?

    Joilly Japes at 9am sharp chaps.

    FRG20

    ****Ive just read this again and I reckon I might not get away with it. Then again so what its all for a laugh.****
     
  2. In the bath it is reffered to as .. Polishing the Lighthouse.
     
  3. Source: http://www.blackchampagne.com/slang-dirty.shtml#masturbation-male

    • Awaken the bacon
    • Bashing the bishop
    • Chucking the muck
    • Call down for more mayo
    • Clear the custard (long overdue session)
    • Choking the chicken
    • Dropping stomach pancakes
    • Five against one
    • Make the bald man cry
    • Meeting Rosy Palmer and her five sisters • Paying the palm pimp
    • Playing pocket billiards
    • Peeling chilies
    • Play the skin flute
    • Polish the lighthouse (in the bath)
    • Preparing the altar boy's supper
    • Strangle Kojak
    • Take Capt. Picard to warp speed
    • Tug of war with Cyclops


    Female
    • A Waterpix exam
    • Gusset pianist
    • Jill off (female version of Jack)
    • Paddle the pink canoe
     
  4. A pal of mine was once caught in the act and tried to persuade people that he was sewing on a button ... fairly vigorously apparently.
     
  5. Strangling the one eyed, purpled headed, yoghurt slinger
     
  6. Unloading the pump action yoghurt rifle.
     
  7. Fang_Farrier

    Fang_Farrier LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Spanking the monkey
     
  8. Fang_Farrier

    Fang_Farrier LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    A Tommy Tank
     
  9. Shaking hands with the unemployed. :(
     
  10. Stroke one out/rub one out
     
  11. Five Knuckle shuffle

    "Cracking One Off" still has to be the best description ever.

    Unload, Safety catch, Mag off..................................
     
  12. I stumbled across a song about this subject last year, I'll see if I can find it and post the words on here.
     
  13. In the Navy we say 'Foam making Branch pipe' ie firefighting terminology
     
  14. Hand to gland combat
     
  15. Knocking one out