Cracking night out

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Cuddles, Dec 2, 2007.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Last night, the Fenian Bride and her oppo from Mumsnet, Intergalactic Walrus, went to a Mumsnet equivalent to the Arrse Crawl. It took place in Clerkenwell and after Mr IGW and I had dropped the ladies off at the Latin Square, we went off for a few hours of boys talk, beer and a decent supper. About 23 o'clock we pitch up at the ladies' venue, a Korean barbecue and some Polish vodka to the good and settle at the bar to await the ladies.

    Several Habana clubs and Argentinian lagers - the beautifully named Quilmes (pronounced exactly how you would wish by the way!), we were invited to join the ladies. About forty MILFs, ordinary looking mums and frankly how the hell did that get pregnant mums were gathered in the dancing area. They were dancing like they imagined Aleesha does...which in itself was quite funny. However they were all so bolloxed that they spent most of the time hanging onto each other and pawing each other's matronly breasts. most...erm...inspiring.

    We then left and went in search of a cab. Cabs in EC1 are pretty scarce on a Saturday evening, so to pass the time Mr IGW and I went for a slash down a side street. His good lady then decided to dump her ballast and TFB also decided that necessity must overcome conventionality. Except instead, she tumbled down twenty steps, landing in the puddles of pee left by IGW, Mr Walrus and I! Luckily she was so fecking bladdered, that she suffered merely minor bruises to her arrse and an awful lot of urine absorption in her clothing!

    We spent the entire journey home today ripping the piss out of her. It was the final act of a classic night out and I feel I have to share it with you all. I can still see her triple salko-ing through the air and at the time imagined death as the only possible outcome. Instead the "drunk's airbag" deployed and she landed safe and sound, if shocked and piss-streaked!

    Finally, we felt the Quilmes lager needed a new slogan and by the end of the night had come up with the two final candidates...

    "Like beer? Lover Quilmes!" and "Carlsberg don't make South American generic lagers but if they did, it would probably taste like Quilmes!"

    All night we were asking the lovely French barmaid for another taste of her Quilmes et cetera...
     
  2. A Korean barbecue? Feck me I'll bet there are no dogs (pardon the pun) left in the area?

    Did they have any of that Kimschi sh1t? Truly the work of the Devil - and I'll bet Adolf the Taxi Driver was chuffed his taxi smelt of p1ss.

    So you enjoyed it then? :twisted:
     
  3. Kim-chee is awesome stuff. What could possibly go wrong with adding large amounts of chilli to pickled cabbage?? :D
     
  4. And crushed garlic - and leaving it an fecking pot in the ground for 6 months? I was in Seoul for 10 days and I can still smell the sh1t - from13 years ago :pukel:
     
  5. Kim-chi is a test. You have to understand that the oriental sense of humour is quite fiendish - just think of the Japanese gameshow, 'Endurance'.

    Kim-chi is fed to foreigners simply to test how much inedible shite they'll choke down to avoid looking rude.

    Sounds like a good night was had, Cuddles.
     
  6. Gentlemen..kim chi is not just cabbage, it can be applied as a methodology to cucumber, radishes, et cetera. I will venture that however bad the kim chi ponged, it did not smell as bad as my poor Fenian Bride after tumbling into the Lake O'Urine.

    Luckily the taxi driver was unable to see/smell the odour. However he must have been a hardy soul because we had several rousing choruses of All around my hat, substituting the word "arrse" at strategic points. The fifth wheel in our pack of devil dogs waas a charming black lady who observed wryly after watching our antics - "I just love white people!" Glad we got you safe home Mars Lady! Even if Clerkenwell - Crouch End - Paddington was a wee bit McGregor/Boorman in terms of route!
     
  7. Well done Cuddles and Team. I love evenings like that, if only to show my kids that I haven't quite forgotten how to have a good time.