cracker jokes for trhe season

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by Joshing-lens, Dec 19, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque..

    They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.

    ================================================



    Two Asian heroin addicts have injected themselves with curry powder by mistake - both are in intensive care...

    One has a dodgy tikka and the other one is in a korma.


    ======= =========================================


    During last night's high winds an African family were killed by a falling tree.

    A spokesman for the Birmingham City Council said 'We didn't even know they were living up there'.

    ================================================


    Asian Minorities in the UK have complained that there is not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crimewatch is being shown 5 times a week now.


    ================================================

    I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean, a ginger haired kid, with two friends?
    ================================================


    I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits.


    ================================================



    I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.

    How could anyone stoop so low?


    ================================================


    I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.

    I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"