Crabs

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Busta-Gut, Oct 14, 2007.

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  1. Whatever happened to genital crabs :? - the feckers - nowadays you just don't hear of anyone having the itchy little barstewards crawling around teh nutsack :!:
     
  2. Now you get the irritating barstewards in larger life at most airfields
     
  3. I think we just did here about someone. Eh?
     
  4. Nah, got mine waaaay back when in Fally. Went on sick parade and the doc scribed some wicked evil chemical that almost burnt the hairs off my balls.
     
  5. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Best cure is to spread treacle and honey all over infected place. Rots their teeth so they can't bite!
     
  6. According to Spike Milligan, the best cure is to pour whisky on the affected parts followed by a sprinkling of sand.

    The crabs get pissed and then stone each other to death.

    I believe he's already got his coat on.
     
  7. Rub onion around the infected area, when they release there claws to wipe away the tears you've got em!
     
  8. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Shave half of your pubes off. Springle thatched area with lighter fuel and ignite. When they try to escape through mown area stab them with a needle.
     
  9. You don't stab them with a needle as you might miss - use a hammer and crush groups of them instead.
     
  10. 1lb of sugar to said area leave for a week, will it kill them will it fcuk but will rot there teeth and the will starve to death.
     
  11. I knew a bloke in 9 Sqn who had em crawling round his 'tache! Gopping.
     
  12. Hmm, did he get them from Jenny C. of 4 GSMR by any chance? Apparently she gave them to most of Aldershot garrison. Plenty of bottles of Malathion on display in the rooms in my unit at any rate.

    I now see the Killers song "Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine" as a euphemism for someone with an STD.

    Oh, come on, come on....