Crab Revenge

#1
A website in Britain called crabrevenge.com says it sells pubic lice. While the disclaimer says the website creators "do not endorse giving people lice," and the lice are for "novelty purposes only," the website talks about using them for revenge.

"Make that bitch itch," the website says. "We sell you crabs to give your ex-girlfriend or whoever has pissed you off enough to make you seek revenge on them. If you want a method of revenge that doesn't involve permanent damage or risk of personal injury or jail time, you have come to the right place
 
#5
Wow...speaking strictly from a business standpoint, what if this site takes off and gets over whelmed with orders? Too much work can be as deadly to a business as too little work, and if they start getting a thousand orders a day they'll have to upgrade their production from their current system of scanning the Ol' Lady with a black light and picking them off with tweezers to large scale cultivation of crabs.

I would hire a really hairy Lebanese guy and three dozen illegal Asian women, and breed the crabs on the Lebanese guy and have the women roll against him and then brush their pubes with those itty bitty combs. Then they could place the crabs in a small envelope of dandruff and send it off.

The only problem is you'll never capture the American market because the women here already have crabs, so it would be like sending coal to Newcastle...

But in Russia, where body lice are a food staple, you'd be huge.
 
#6
I fear your plan will only scratch the surface.
 
#7
There was me thinking this was a thread about the brylcream bumboys trying to get their own back for all the p1ss takes we keep giving them.
 
#8
scoobydont said:
There was me thinking this was a thread about the brylcream bumboys trying to get their own back for all the p1ss takes we keep giving them.
Ditto. That's what I thought.
 
K

Kirkz

Guest
#9
stapd said:
Kirkz said:
Probably some on here who'd give you them for free :p
Fcuk off ... these are thoroughbreds! I've been engaging in a selective breeding programme on them for years
That's an impressive specimen mukker :)
Who's Mrs did you cultivate that on :twisted:
 
#10
stapd said:
Kirkz said:
Probably some on here who'd give you them for free :p
Fcuk off ... these are thoroughbreds! I've been engaging in a selective breeding programme on them for years
Jesus T1tty Fcuking Christ!!! 8O
 
#11
Closet_Jibber said:
stapd said:
Kirkz said:
Probably some on here who'd give you them for free :p
Fcuk off ... these are thoroughbreds! I've been engaging in a selective breeding programme on them for years
Jesus T1tty Fcuking Christ!!! 8O
Its a coconut crab ... so now you know why Coco the Clown looks so sad, and had to have such large trews.
 
#14
stapd said:
Kirkz said:
Probably some on here who'd give you them for free :p
Fcuk off ... these are thoroughbreds! I've been engaging in a selective breeding programme on them for years
Sluggy in her version of osprey I assume?
 
#15
surfer2169 said:
stapd said:
Kirkz said:
Probably some on here who'd give you them for free :p
Fcuk off ... these are thoroughbreds! I've been engaging in a selective breeding programme on them for years
Sluggy in her version of osprey I assume?
What, that thing is a real creature? Are you kidding me? Holy Fuck, it's one thing to shake out your boots of scorpions but it's quite another to empty the trash and have one of those- creatures- jump out of the can into your face.

That would be a buzz kill.
 
#16
RearWords said:
Closet_Jibber said:
stapd said:
Kirkz said:
Probably some on here who'd give you them for free :p
Fcuk off ... these are thoroughbreds! I've been engaging in a selective breeding programme on them for years
Jesus T1tty Fcuking Christ!!! 8O
I'm trying to get the dimensions on that thing...it's huge!!! 8O
That is a medium sized one. The big ones can be 30-35 inches across the body with a 6 foot leg span. They are decapods but not true crabs. They are related to hermit crabs which are small and often kept as pets. Not sure if any coconut crabs are kept as pets. If they were they might put the fear of God into your neighbors pit bull.

King Crabs are almost as big and quite tasty when boiled and served with melter butter. Not sure about these guys.
 
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