abeaumont
War Hero

No that was not a spelling mistake - I do know the difference between a b and a p.
A colleague, a crab officer in our contingent has sent me an awful joke, and as one of the pongo variety I seek revenge. His attempt is copied below and I seek a joke even more cringeworthy, to use in retaliation.
Stand by:
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to
death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the
inevitable,
when suddenly...
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I is sure of eet."
"Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee".
So, with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune and
there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded with bacon. There's raw
bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double
smoked bacon...every imaginable kind of cured pig meat you can
imagine!!
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Eees a bacon tree".
"Luis, are sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don' forget".
"Pepe, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smeell of bacon...ees
no meerage, ees a bacon tree".
And with that.....Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5
metres, with Pepe following more slowly at a distance, when suddenly a
machine gun opens up, and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear
he
is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn
Pepe
with his dying breath.. . . .
"Pepe...go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree"
"Luis, Luis mi amigo...what ees eet?"
"Pepe...ees not a bacon tree....
"Ees.....
Ees.....
Ees.....
Ees, a Ham Bush"
I did warn you it was bad. Help needed for revenge atack....
A colleague, a crab officer in our contingent has sent me an awful joke, and as one of the pongo variety I seek revenge. His attempt is copied below and I seek a joke even more cringeworthy, to use in retaliation.
Stand by:
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to
death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the
inevitable,
when suddenly...
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I is sure of eet."
"Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee".
So, with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune and
there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded with bacon. There's raw
bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double
smoked bacon...every imaginable kind of cured pig meat you can
imagine!!
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Eees a bacon tree".
"Luis, are sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don' forget".
"Pepe, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smeell of bacon...ees
no meerage, ees a bacon tree".
And with that.....Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5
metres, with Pepe following more slowly at a distance, when suddenly a
machine gun opens up, and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear
he
is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn
Pepe
with his dying breath.. . . .
"Pepe...go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree"
"Luis, Luis mi amigo...what ees eet?"
"Pepe...ees not a bacon tree....
"Ees.....
Ees.....
Ees.....
Ees, a Ham Bush"
I did warn you it was bad. Help needed for revenge atack....