I'm having an issue with crabs and it's getting quite irritating. Unfortunately, shaving my pubes will not be sufficient to cure this problem. I arrived in my office this morning bright and early (well, 0915) to find that, in spite of the TWO methods of establishing who's in and which desks are in use on a given day, some cheeky cnut of a RAFfer had taken my seat. Now this wasn't a massive problem, since there was a free desk not two yards away (with the added benefit that I don't have to sit directly next to the irritating sod I usually do), but there's a principle to it all. What I need are some useful methods of making the rest of his day as uncomfortable as possible. Given that the RAF:Civ* ratio on the team today is now 4:3, I am significantly outnumbered. Therefore it would be prudent to keep the abuse as subtle as possible. "So, how well do DII laptops work in cushty hotel suites?" would be less likely to incur the wrath of the Wg Cdr than shouting "that's my desk you cnut!" and winging his chair down the fire escape. Any suggestions? * Not that civvies are likely to get vast amounts of aid or sympathy here but, in our defence, one is ex-REME and I've spent the majority of my career working in the far more interesting Land environment.