• ARRSE have partnered with Armadillo Merino to bring you an ARRSE exclusive, generous discount offer on their full price range.
    To keep you warm with the best of Merino gear, visit www.armadillomerino.co.uk and use the code: NEWARRSE40 at the checkout to get 40% off!
    This superb deal has been generously offered to us by Armadillo Merino and is valid until midnight on the the 28th of February.

Cr@pper I.A. Drills

#1
Ok I must of missed this bit during training ?

7. Stand-wipe
8. Grasp trousers and trollies
9. Turn. Grasp Handle and Flush sharply downwards.
10. Secure trousers
11. Inspect the pan.


ON LOOKING INSIDE THE BOWL YOU SEE THERE IS A ROGUE 6 INCH TURD......CARRY ON !


So what do you do ?

Grab a brush and sink it ? Keep flushing or wait a while and flush again. supposing there is a queue ? Cover it in bog roll and deny everything ?


help.
 
#5
If all else fails you could have a wnak and deposite your man fat in the bowl

The next person who comes along will then be too distracted by the floating fat to relise the floating turd

Hope this helps
Yours turly Foxtrot Oscar
 
#6
pick up the turd, place it in your pocket, drop it on the pavement near a dog, stand in the turd and sue the fcuk out of the dog owner.
 
#8
Chuck in a wad of toilet paper, hoping to cause the 'plug' to take the offending turd away with it, then stand there like a stupid cnut watching the bowl overflow :oops: :oops: (personal experience 2 days ago)

Its amazing how long it takes before the place is empty again and you can sneak out unnoticed :cry:
 
#10
CarpeDiem said:
Leave it, walk out of the cubicle complaining loudly that "some dirty fckers left a floater" and then scarper
The startled expressions on the faces of the chogie cleaners when they start work indicates that this is currently the preferred method here in Sunny Shaibah.

Mind you, finding a trap into which the straining stool is to be dropped can often be something of a challenge, as some people seem to have difficulty actually hitting the bowl, as evidenced by the smears of sh1te on the seat. I suspect that this problem could be alleviated by providing the RLC with their own privies.
 

Latest Threads

New Posts