Cr@pper I.A. Drills

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by gibson097, Apr 28, 2005.

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  1. Ok I must of missed this bit during training ?

    7. Stand-wipe
    8. Grasp trousers and trollies
    9. Turn. Grasp Handle and Flush sharply downwards.
    10. Secure trousers
    11. Inspect the pan.


    ON LOOKING INSIDE THE BOWL YOU SEE THERE IS A ROGUE 6 INCH TURD......CARRY ON !


    So what do you do ?

    Grab a brush and sink it ? Keep flushing or wait a while and flush again. supposing there is a queue ? Cover it in bog roll and deny everything ?


    help.
     
  2. Adjust gas knob on arrse to excessive, fart in bowl and hope the methane coming out at high speeds from your arrse will clear the blockage
     
  3. Leave it, walk out of the cubicle complaining loudly that "some dirty fckers left a floater" and then scarper
     
  4. X-Inf

    X-Inf War Hero Book Reviewer

    Be like the Turd and Stand Proud. :p
     
  5. If all else fails you could have a wnak and deposite your man fat in the bowl

    The next person who comes along will then be too distracted by the floating fat to relise the floating turd

    Hope this helps
    Yours turly Foxtrot Oscar
     
  6. pick up the turd, place it in your pocket, drop it on the pavement near a dog, stand in the turd and sue the fcuk out of the dog owner.
     
  7. Fish the turd out, dry it carefully and walk otu Groucho Marx style with a new comedy cigar.
     
  8. Chuck in a wad of toilet paper, hoping to cause the 'plug' to take the offending turd away with it, then stand there like a stupid cnut watching the bowl overflow :oops: :oops: (personal experience 2 days ago)

    Its amazing how long it takes before the place is empty again and you can sneak out unnoticed :cry:
     
  9. look through arrse naafi threads for previous topics on the same theme for the answer?
     
  10. ViroBono

    ViroBono LE Moderator

    The startled expressions on the faces of the chogie cleaners when they start work indicates that this is currently the preferred method here in Sunny Shaibah.

    Mind you, finding a trap into which the straining stool is to be dropped can often be something of a challenge, as some people seem to have difficulty actually hitting the bowl, as evidenced by the smears of sh1te on the seat. I suspect that this problem could be alleviated by providing the RLC with their own privies.