Cr*piest Chrissie Present

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Rocketeer, Dec 23, 2005.

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  1. In the spirit of Holiday Cheer, what was the crappiest Christmas present you ever received.?

    Mine was at an office Kris Kringle exchange.. Buddy thought it was hilarious..gave me a rubber finger with an electric cord out the end. When you plugged it in the finger flexed. " Electric Nose Picker "..
    hilarious - NOT

    I'll admit he received his own stapler as a gift - though it was tastefully wrapped and with a sparkly bow...
  2. Not necessarily a bad present per se but one year, I got from my kid sister a machine that sorts out all your pocket shrapnel for you. I bought her a fecking X-box.

    On the other hand, I did receive a pair of 'slipper socks' that looked like they'd been crafted by a colour-blind Peruvian madman and smelled like they'd been smuggled to blighty in the arse crack of a llama.
  3. From my son who's thought processes are a complete f*cking mystery to me most of the year. Last year he bought me:

    A novelty Christmas tie.

    "So, son, when exactly, do I wear this?"

    "Christmas Dad".

    "So, today then and then again the same time next year. Very useful"

    Like I said. A complete f*cking mystery.
  4. When my nephew cames round last year i gave him £20. He stood there looking embarrased, then pulled out his wallet and gave me a tenner.

    This year I am going to tell everyone i have become a jehovahs witness and get them nothing.
  5. daz

    daz LE

    God, noooooooooooo, not the office secret santa gift fiasco :cry:

    This year i did try and put some thought into the dozy doris's gift that i had to buy for, so come the big day she unwrapped her gift (a large festive reindeer with a bottle of rather good plonk BTW) queue much merriment and mirth and gushing thanks from the dozy split arse, and then she hand me my pressie........................what's this methinks, its small and square, hummmm so i proceeded to unwrap it to be confronted with a .................................FECKING PLASTIC CAR TAX DISK HOLDER :oops:

    She seemed upset when i placed it straight into file 13 :lol:

  6. I didn't receive this gift, rather I was the offending party by giving it, although my intentions were good.

    We were in Bahrain in 1990, waiting for the first dust-up with Saddam and Co. and our CO thought it would cheer folks up to have a unit Christmas party and gift exchange at the British Bahrain Club. Everyone was given the name of a fellow soldier to buy for, with a limit of 10 Bahraini dinar, about $30.00 Canadian dollars or roughly 12.00 pounds. I drew the name of one of our senior NCOs and was faced with the question of what to get an experienced NCO at Christmas? The answer seemed simple to me, find a bottle of decent hooch - can't go wrong with that, right? One bottle of Johnny Walker Red coming right up.

    How was I supposed to know he was an alcoholic going through the 12-step program?

    Fortunately, the gift-givers were anonymous and I must confess to having a laugh as I watched him start to sweat and shake upon unwrapping his present. Wonder if he is still alive or with the same liver?
  7. A bar of Polish Fake cadburys chocolate.