Cpls Mess - Can i be forced to join and pay monthly mess bil

#1
As a LCPL can i be forced to join a Cpls mess. Its not the mess i disagree with its being forced to pay a mess bill every month just to boost the funds

I'm being told its in Queens regs but i thought that was just SNCO's

can someone let me know please
 
#3
Grow a pair of balls and ask your RSM and tell him why your asking!!! He'll have an answer for you, and the duty rosters will just write themselve...
 
#4
You are not obliged by law (unlike some) but see Spanish Dave's comments for your answer. Now get a grip.
 
#6
8O They must be pretty high bills to post your whinge on here!! Fcukin'ell mate, will you do the same if you reach SNCO? Of course not!! Pay up and stop fcuking whining, its your mess as much as all the other Juniors. I bet your one of those that wants a union, and moans about functions but neither turns up or contributes. :roll:
 
#7
welshhammer said:
As a LCPL can i be forced to join a Cpls mess. Its not the mess i disagree with its being forced to pay a mess bill every month just to boost the funds

I'm being told its in Queens regs but i thought that was just SNCO's

can someone let me know please
Are you real?

If you don't like it, do what Spanish Dave said. Go on, you could get an RSM's pension after 22 years.
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#8
WelshHammer.

You are joking!

Is this Wedge?

Hand your stripe to somebody more deserving!

TWAT!
 
#9
B_AND_T said:
WelshHammer.

You are joking!

Is this Wedge?

Hand your stripe to somebody more deserving!

TWAT!
That's how you got promoted.

(I'm laughing my head off that you are still in work btw - serves you right for not answering the phone all morning)
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#10
The_Snail said:
B_AND_T said:
WelshHammer.

You are joking!

Is this Wedge?

Hand your stripe to somebody more deserving!

TWAT!
That's how you got promoted.

(I'm laughing my head off that you are still in work btw - serves you right for not answering the phone all morning)
Watch it drippy knickers!!
 
#11
Opt out of life and you won't have to pay for anything ever again..


Alternatively pay yer mess bill and get the benefits from it,the cheap beer,the nights out without the other half etc etc.
 
#12
The_Snail said:
welshhammer said:
As a LCPL can i be forced to join a Cpls mess. Its not the mess i disagree with its being forced to pay a mess bill every month just to boost the funds

I'm being told its in Queens regs but i thought that was just SNCO's

can someone let me know please
Are you real?

If you don't like it, do what Spanish Dave said. Go on, you could get an RSM's pension after 22 years.
Sluggy, my bold, I thought that that myth said that you had to stay a private soldier for your entire career, never having been promoted at all.

I can remember a few knob-jockies who that should have happened to. trouble is, they always seemed to promote the fuckwits, just to get rid of them.
 
#13
Mitchthebar said:
The_Snail said:
welshhammer said:
As a LCPL can i be forced to join a Cpls mess. Its not the mess i disagree with its being forced to pay a mess bill every month just to boost the funds

I'm being told its in Queens regs but i thought that was just SNCO's

can someone let me know please
Are you real?

If you don't like it, do what Spanish Dave said. Go on, you could get an RSM's pension after 22 years.
Sluggy, my bold, I thought that that myth said that you had to stay a private soldier for your entire career, never having been promoted at all.

I can remember a few knob-jockies who that should have happened to. trouble is, they always seemed to promote the fuckwits, just to get rid of them.
No mate, it's all true. Unlucky Alf told me:

Seeing as it's all in the good book of Queens Regulations for the Army 1975 then has the following ever happened?

When employed on some sort of shift system (guard duties or the like - whatever) between 1230 and 2330 a diligent little fcuker decides he has gone through QR's* with a fine tooth comb - well heard about it in the block at any rate- and discovered the 'you cannot be reprimanded for not shaving after 1159' bit.

Now getting towards the end of his 22 years of Army service as a Pte and looking forward to kicking back with his RSM's pension in a few months time our lad has decided to put his Brasso drinking days of PT avoidance behind him as he doesn't want to risk the massive pension. He does still have a bit of a mischievous streak though and being a bit of an ex-rocker Pte Dildohead (I've identified him now see) has decided that a ZZ Top like beard** is of the order of the day in order to prepare for civvy strasse.

The RSM, already enraged by the fact that despite many years of hard graft to reach his exalted position he is about to receive the same pension as Pte Dildohead, decides that enough is enough and even though they joined up together he has never liked Dildohead and he is going to get him this time - QRs having contrived to save Dildohead from official wrath matters must be taken into his own hands.

One night - around 2358 the RSM enters the lines (Dildohead was never married) and quietly makes his way to the little fatherless's w@nking cavern with a snooker ball from the mess in a sock. At approximately 2359 (and a little bit) the RSM sneaks in to pounce - Dildohead fast asleep, still in his uniform as he is a grot, is unaware of the intruder. Razzer can't believe his luck (Dildohead cost him his LS&GC when they were both still Toms and he's not forgotten the cnut letting him take the rap).

Unfortunately, at this point things nose-dive somewhat for our intrepid RSM as he becomes fixated on the ZZTop-esq beard he can see shining in the moonlight - he advances towards the prostrate Dildohead (still snoozing like a good 'un) but his enthusiasm gets the better of him and he lunges for Dildohead suddenly but trips on the stack of goat porn Pte D. brought back from his tour of Bosnia (cas-evaced due to the squits after 3 days).

Pte Dildohead is awoken by the commotion and for once in his life springs into action wrestling the pool ball in a sock from the Razzman and spends the next 29.4 seconds beating seven shades of sh1t out of him. The Razzer is slightly stunned - well stunned enough for Dildohead to escape anyway. However, Razzman is content in the knowledge that the CO wouldn't tolerate violence against his top Warrant Officer and knows that in the morning Pte Dildohead will get what’s coming.

Alas, as we readers of Arrse know, the next morning Pte Dildohead is awarded the first not guilty on COs orders since Pontius was a Pilot due to his clever knowledge of some of the lesser known aspects of Queens Regulations. A couple of months later Pte Dildohead packs up his goat porn and becomes plain old Mr Dildohead again laughing all the way to the bank.

Anyhow, has that actually happened to anyone out there?


*In my experience the guys who believe false example from QRs wouldn't know what a book looked like if you beat them with it. Never mind an extensive knowledge of QRs.

**Not Frank Beard obviously, a beard like the other two blokes.
I believe him, because he is on the internet, and no-one lies on the internet do they?
 
#14
Aren't you a black hole of need. Having set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public you may want to bear in mind that a Corporals Mess is your Regiments way of preparing you for bigger and better things in the unlikely event you're ever given the honour of stepping into the WO's & Sgts Mess. Think yourself lucky you don't have to buy mess kit for the Corporals Mess as some Regiments used to, and still might, do. Do yourself a favour, log off and write the cheque.
 
#15
You're not forced to join any mess, corporals' - sgts' or officers' - they just come with the job, it's not an option, you knew it before you got your stripe, and if you didn't and don't like it, revert!
 
#17
In Soest 1983, we had a Screws Mess which they called a "Club" thereby "inviting" us on a three line whip to pay Mess fees.

In another Regiment years later, we wore Mess dress in the JNCO's Mess, paying Mess fees. We felt chuffed wearing our Mess dress.

Forced? "they who must be obeyed" would perhaps disagree... :wink:
 
#18
abrecan said:
In Soest 1983, we had a Screws Mess which they called a "Club" thereby "inviting" us on a three line whip to pay Mess fees.

In another Regiment years later, we wore Mess dress in the JNCO's Mess, paying Mess fees. We felt chuffed wearing our Mess dress.

Forced? "they who must be obeyed" would perhaps disagree... :wink:
Ah, Soest, those were the days. I was in Korbecke in 1989. Whoops, wrong thread.

British Army culture demands conformity. Man up and get used to it, sugarplum.
 
#19
welshhammer said:
As a LCPL can i be forced to join a Cpls mess. Its not the mess i disagree with its being forced to pay a mess bill every month just to boost the funds

I'm being told its in Queens regs but i thought that was just SNCO's

can someone let me know please
Why is it that the current sprogs are constantly challenging rules regs and tradition. Stump up or fcuk off. Think of it as an investment. After all, you'd only spend the money on Playstation games, white trainers or smack.
 
#20
Dragstrip said:
abrecan said:
In Soest 1983, we had a Screws Mess which they called a "Club" thereby "inviting" us on a three line whip to pay Mess fees.

In another Regiment years later, we wore Mess dress in the JNCO's Mess, paying Mess fees. We felt chuffed wearing our Mess dress.

Forced? "they who must be obeyed" would perhaps disagree... :wink:
Ah, Soest, those were the days. I was in Korbecke in 1989. Whoops, wrong thread.

British Army culture demands conformity. Man up and get used to it, sugarplum.
I was in Soest between 1988 and 1990. Fu'cking ace! Big Ben, Old Germany and the Burghof were my stalking grounds.
 

Similar threads


Latest Threads

Top