Course W*nkers

Discussion in 'Army Reserve' started by Chalky, Jun 21, 2006.

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  1. Have just returned from my CMT(V) 2 course at AMSTC and it was ace. Great people, competent instructors and excellent food (spot the lie).

    But why, oh why is there always one 800lb ape that has to sit on your metaphorical train set?

    One person with the personal hygiene of a mountain goat, the cleanliness & communal mind of a stool sample and the personality of ten-day old tripe?

    This guy was a Para, which has never been a problem for me, but all we had for two weeks was:


    An expert on everything, never wrong and always striving to get one up on the world is what he aspires to be.

    Irritating, arrogant, hot-headed w*nker despised by not only the course, but also the instructors is what he achieved.

    So, who's your worst? I think you'd be hard-pushed to find one.
  2. Got it all out of your system, Darling?

    PICK ME.
    ME, ME, ME, ME!

    You haven't returned. You're still there!

    Am I right? :roll:
  4. pmsl
  5. Nah. I was allowed to take my exams and leave early. My Da' is having another operation tomorrow and I have to be there although officially, yes, I am. :)

    And yes, I think you may have got the right answer. Gawds bless Sodexho.
  6. Only just worked out the acronyms and now I've got another word to look up. :(


    Oh, silly me. :oops:
  7. So, did you tell him this to his face?

    If you did what did he say, if you didn't.........why not?
  8. Would of liked to have seen it said to him! Also, did anyone else on the course feel like this, or was it one of those things where this one person ended up pi$$ing off just you?
  9. You don't have to be airborne to be the course w@nker, but it helps....

    Had the same on my AADI course (regular). Nice CSGT SG made the tw@t reshape his beret to look like a soldier's, not a Paris tart! We used to call him pantie liner, you know, coz he had wings!
  10. Oh no, we told him.

    It started off by one person pulling him aside and asking him to wash his kit becauase everyone was complaining about the miasma and it ended with him interrogating everyone asking if they'd been slagging him off behind his back.

    Those that hadn't already done it quite blatantly to his face ended up simply saying yes and walking away, at which point he started threatening all and sundry and slamming one lad into a locker (using skills he gained as one of THEM, obviously) for summing up the general mood as 'Everyone hates you and wants you to feck off'.

    He then decided that we all disliked him because he's a para and not because he has the personality of calcified dick cheese.

    In addition to his claims of holding degrees in Environmental Science and Law that allowed him to comment so incorrectly on things related to those subjects, he also turned down a place at Cambridge on the basis of the 5 A-Levels he studied for part time in the army at age 17, 2 of those being A's and 3 being C's.

    Can anyone at 144 Para offer any guesses as to who it was? PM me for a prize! :)
  11. I was supposed to be on your course but couldnt get the time off school, so you actually got off lightly - Im sure I would have been a much bigger w@nker - its the only fun I get these days! Isnt that the guy who got caught getting amourous (with the dorm door locked) with resusci-annie!?

    No I tell a lie it was me. :oops:

    At least he wasn't a Nursing Auxilliary (claiming to be qualified) in a Mental Health ward constantly, banging on about how the course content is wrong, how easy it is and yet failing the clinical assesments twice. Proper course Chugger he was. Also tried to nick kit issued under instructors ticket.

    Dont think that one was me though! :lick:

    Star prize goes to the twelve year old from The Gloucesters, fresh out of CMSR, not shaving yet, covered in puppy fat and claiming to have two Telics under his belt, and yet seen eighteen months later in Vox Pop in soldier magazine and quoted as finding his first tour "challenging". Pissed on four pints - pissed the bed ( of course ), and Im sure continues to piss himself daily in Basrah - total WALT. :x

    All that aside Im sure im still a total w@nker, I cant wait for it to be an olympic sport! :D
  12. Ah, I see nobody can claim to outwank me ( no Im not a wupert ).
    World domination is secure! :1:
  13. *hands you a prize*

    Now F*ck off, ya ******!