Country living

[sirbhp]

Not something I recollect as I left the area around that time to live in proper countryside but it doesn't surprise me as they were some, how shall I put it, unsavoury old time inhabitants - an uncle being one who still lives there.
I will have to have a wander around next time I visit Sarfend to see what has changed, I bet I can't go scrumping at the end of North Street or collect walnuts from the tree around the back of the co-op!

Send me a pm when you come .

 

[No Boots]

Send me a pm when you come .

Will do

 

[HLD DMR]

If someone had told me as a 18yr old born and raised city lad that l would eventually have my own farm, l would have laughed in their face and asked where they buy their drugs. Except for the lack of late night takeaways, l have not a single regret and honestly believe my quality of life over the years is much greater than it would have been if l had stayed in a city. I am content at my age to finish life up in semi solitude, not much more l could ask for.

 

[RBMK]

I'm a city boy, born near the middle of Liverpool, close to the entrance to the new Mersey Tunnel. University in another big city, then got a job in Berkshire, lived in a village near Basingstoke (renting) when Basingstoke was a proper small town and not over-run by Barratt shoeboxes.

Anyway, fast forward lots and I'm married with kids and we have lived in our current village for 15 years. Let me tell you the truth about country life...

Farmers - some are OK but most of the farm contractors are a shower of tractor driving homicidal maniacs. The country isn't quiet, your average tractor is far noisier than a car, or even a truck. And they will start work at 0600. None of the 4 roads into the village is wider than a single lane each way and two roads are effectively single track with no white line down the middle.

Horses. We got them by the dozen. Riders vary from pleasant young ladies who will wave and wish you good morning, to the most entitled arrogant tw4ts you will ever meet who believe that every car should have a man with a red flag in front... except when they're driving their shagged out smoking horse boxes also known as mobile chicanes taking Tarquin and Jocasta to the gymkhana. None of the drivers has the first clue how to drive a van and other drivers are expected to be telepathic. Horsey types hate tractor drivers with a vengeance as dobbin might get frightened by a tractor.

Cyclists. We're on a cycle route and get lots of lycra louts riding through the village shouting at each other, not to mention 3-4 "sportifs" every summer.

Cyclists hate tractor drivers who hate them in return.
Horse riders hate cyclists
Almost all the locals hate cyclists

Buses. 6 per day. Take ~35 minutes to do an 8 minute drive to the nearest town and expensive unless you have a bus pass. Last bus is at 6pm so forget going out for the evening and having a few beers unless you can stump up for the 6 mile taxi fare home.

Farmers. One of the local farmers spreads raw sewage on the fields which then stinks for a couple of weeks. Fortunately on the other side of the village to us so we don't really get the smell. The raw sewage has also wiped out all life in 2 local streams. Other farmers spread manure, actually this is less offensive than the sewage and goes away faster.

Most farmers are money grabbing bar stewards who will rip out trees and hedges and destroy any remaining wildlife to get an extra 50p. Strange that they can afford a brand new tractor every 3 years though. There are also the "farm contractors" who go everywhere in a tractor because they can run it on red Diesel.

We have a local contractor who drives round in his JCB - he's also one of the local busybodies a real "pillar of the community". Want a protected tree removed? He is yer man. Want something moved or disposed of without planning permission? Call for Jim.

And breathe.

More on the locals later.

 

[lastwalt]

I'm a city boy, born near the middle of Liverpool, close to the entrance to the new Mersey Tunnel. University in another big city, then got a job in Berkshire, lived in a village near Basingstoke (renting) when Basingstoke was a proper small town and not over-run by Barratt shoeboxes.

Anyway, fast forward lots and I'm married with kids and we have lived in our current village for 15 years. Let me tell you the truth about country life...

Farmers - some are OK but most of the farm contractors are a shower of tractor driving homicidal maniacs. The country isn't quiet, your average tractor is far noisier than a car, or even a truck. And they will start work at 0600. None of the 4 roads into the village is wider than a single lane each way and two roads are effectively single track with no white line down the middle.

Horses. We got them by the dozen. Riders vary from pleasant young ladies who will wave and wish you good morning, to the most entitled arrogant tw4ts you will ever meet who believe that every car should have a man with a red flag in front... except when they're driving their shagged out smoking horse boxes also known as mobile chicanes taking Tarquin and Jocasta to the gymkhana. None of the drivers has the first clue how to drive a van and other drivers are expected to be telepathic. Horsey types hate tractor drivers with a vengeance as dobbin might get frightened by a tractor.

Cyclists. We're on a cycle route and get lots of lycra louts riding through the village shouting at each other, not to mention 3-4 "sportifs" every summer.

Cyclists hate tractor drivers who hate them in return.
Horse riders hate cyclists
Almost all the locals hate cyclists

Buses. 6 per day. Take ~35 minutes to do an 8 minute drive to the nearest town and expensive unless you have a bus pass. Last bus is at 6pm so forget going out for the evening and having a few beers unless you can stump up for the 6 mile taxi fare home.

Farmers. One of the local farmers spreads raw sewage on the fields which then stinks for a couple of weeks. Fortunately on the other side of the village to us so we don't really get the smell. The raw sewage has also wiped out all life in 2 local streams. Other farmers spread manure, actually this is less offensive than the sewage and goes away faster.

Most farmers are money grabbing bar stewards who will rip out trees and hedges and destroy any remaining wildlife to get an extra 50p. Strange that they can afford a brand new tractor every 3 years though. There are also the "farm contractors" who go everywhere in a tractor because they can run it on red Diesel.

We have a local contractor who drives round in his JCB - he's also one of the local busybodies a real "pillar of the community". Want a protected tree removed? He is yer man. Want something moved or disposed of without planning permission? Call for Jim.

And breathe.

More on the locals later.

If living there stressed me this much, I'd move. You might be more relaxed back in Toxteth.

 

[HLD DMR]

I'm a city boy, born near the middle of Liverpool, close to the entrance to the new Mersey Tunnel. University in another big city, then got a job in Berkshire, lived in a village near Basingstoke (renting) when Basingstoke was a proper small town and not over-run by Barratt shoeboxes.

Anyway, fast forward lots and I'm married with kids and we have lived in our current village for 15 years. Let me tell you the truth about country life...

Farmers - some are OK but most of the farm contractors are a shower of tractor driving homicidal maniacs. The country isn't quiet, your average tractor is far noisier than a car, or even a truck. And they will start work at 0600. None of the 4 roads into the village is wider than a single lane each way and two roads are effectively single track with no white line down the middle.

Horses. We got them by the dozen. Riders vary from pleasant young ladies who will wave and wish you good morning, to the most entitled arrogant tw4ts you will ever meet who believe that every car should have a man with a red flag in front... except when they're driving their shagged out smoking horse boxes also known as mobile chicanes taking Tarquin and Jocasta to the gymkhana. None of the drivers has the first clue how to drive a van and other drivers are expected to be telepathic. Horsey types hate tractor drivers with a vengeance as dobbin might get frightened by a tractor.

Cyclists. We're on a cycle route and get lots of lycra louts riding through the village shouting at each other, not to mention 3-4 "sportifs" every summer.

Cyclists hate tractor drivers who hate them in return.
Horse riders hate cyclists
Almost all the locals hate cyclists

Buses. 6 per day. Take ~35 minutes to do an 8 minute drive to the nearest town and expensive unless you have a bus pass. Last bus is at 6pm so forget going out for the evening and having a few beers unless you can stump up for the 6 mile taxi fare home.

Farmers. One of the local farmers spreads raw sewage on the fields which then stinks for a couple of weeks. Fortunately on the other side of the village to us so we don't really get the smell. The raw sewage has also wiped out all life in 2 local streams. Other farmers spread manure, actually this is less offensive than the sewage and goes away faster.

Most farmers are money grabbing bar stewards who will rip out trees and hedges and destroy any remaining wildlife to get an extra 50p. Strange that they can afford a brand new tractor every 3 years though. There are also the "farm contractors" who go everywhere in a tractor because they can run it on red Diesel.

We have a local contractor who drives round in his JCB - he's also one of the local busybodies a real "pillar of the community". Want a protected tree removed? He is yer man. Want something moved or disposed of without planning permission? Call for Jim.

And breathe.

More on the locals later.

Most farmers are money grubbing bar stewards? That's kind of a unwarranted blanket statement unless you are speaking specifically of the ones you personally deal with. It's like me saying most city folk who move to rural villages are whining sniveling cùnts, which in fact would be an untruth. Some farmers, particularly the Dutch imports l deal with, are arrogant human garbage that l would happily drown in a manure lagoon as they are so fond of having them, there's good and bad in every profession.

As for new tractors every 3 years, it's called progress and upgrading, the world needs to be fed and using old outdated equipment doesn't cut it anymore.

 

[Retired bloke]

If living there stressed me this much, I'd move. You might be more relaxed back in Toxteth.

HANDSWORTH, SHIRLEY?

 

[Troy]

The lady boss is 72, no dont have a rifel, used to have a 165 Hesh firing AVRE but.

Are you familiar with the Barling Bomber ? before my time but still recollected by the locals not to be confused with the Barling Banger of course .

If truth be known 'twas a group of very elderlies, known to other locals and not a single bomber. They have most likely snuffed it by now.

 

[sirbhp]

If living there stressed me this much, I'd move. You might be more relaxed back in Toxteth.

I drove through Toxeth in a cab once and said to the driver this is a posh area innit? he was gobsmasked and said its toxteth where do you come from ?? Islington say I weve loads of big house like these there worth a bomb .