Councils unprepared for Zombie Attack

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by tiny_lewis, Jun 10, 2011.

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  1. local authorities are wildly unprepared for most things
  2. I recently attended a 'Human Pandemic' Emergency Planning exercise. Pretty sure they were more thinking swine flu but hey many of the lessons would apply... :) more prepared than Leicester it would apear :)
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  3. Most of the Zombies are sitting under their noses, on the Town Council.
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  4. look untill they issue all wardens and parks constables with heavyduty body armor, mk7 helmets and M4s as part of day to day uniform then they wont be any use during the coming zombie war- unless you can outrun the buggers in which case they be food you be good
  5. Be Prepared! And I am. Armed with Mr Page's most excellent zombie survival cornucopia, I am confident that I the preparations I have made will stand me in good stead come the zombie apocalypse. And if not, I have ensured that most of my neighbours are fat/unfit/ignorant and therefore will unwittingly provide the necessary diversion in which I can take flight.
  6. Hull City Council have been dealing with zombies for years, without any difficulties.
  7. whats all the fuss about? all you need is a cricket bat. :)
  8. Boston police are the way to go

    an officer was bitten, someone tweeted back if it was a zombie
    BPD said nope but if it ever happens then we will let you know

    Boston Police- zombie awareness prize
  9. Clearly you've never been to Saffron Lane!! This is a very real threat in Leicester let me tell you!!!
  10. 5.56 and Body Armour? Pfffft! 5.56 is just going to let them know you're there. You want 12-bore solid shot or possibly the good old SLR (I know, I know I didnt want to start that again...but seriously a reliable semi-auto with a solid round behind it is the way to go).

    And most local authoritys do have a few usefull cehicles around :-
  11. You've got red on you :)
  12. Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?
  13. I have no doubt at all that future history books (of soico/ecconomic history) will record that this present age in which we live as being distinguished by two significant major factors.

    1. The computer games age affected millions of kids that grew up believing that zombies were real.


    2. There was so much oestrogen in the drinking water after 50+ years of women using birth control pills that many men turned "girlie". This being evidenced by three noticeable factors.

    i) The decreasing sperm count, hence more need for Invitro fertilization.
    ii) The huge fuss many men make over shaving poducts instead of just soap and water.
    iii) The increasing number of Homosexual men seen in public.


    Regarding iii), I saw two blokes in an embrace yesterday, urgh, my blood ran cold...
  14. It's not gay unless your balls touch. Now come give me a hug!