Couldn't hit a cow's arse....

Discussion in 'Shooting, Hunting and Fishing' started by Pigshyt_Freeman, Mar 26, 2013.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. How the **** do you miss a cow?

    Police marksman shoots escaped cow in school grounds - Telegraph

    • Like Like x 1
  2. Had the cow been a Braziian electrician, sorry, sorry, an innocent Brazilian electrician, then they'd have gotton half a dozen rounds into it!

    But it does rather begger believe that after 2 hours of chasing they couldnt catch it, did no one think of getting a farmer, couple of collies and a trailer on the back of a landrover?

    Mind you it was Belgian, so clearly linked to the new immigration policy.
    • Like Like x 4
  3. How in **** is a cow a threat to life and limb, surely a bucket of cow nuts and a gentle come here cow would have worked. Welll it did on the farm where I grew up. Never had to shoot an escaped one.
    • Like Like x 3
  4. The police have massive form for this sort of cock-up. The usual technique is going 'centre of mass' on the beast which tends to lead to an orgy of gut shots and a miffed cow.

    Even if they were instructed on head shooting a cow this would be a challenge for the retards. They should have the balls to get the knackerman out first, and not dick about.
    • Like Like x 1
  5. FFS its a cow I managed to persuade a couple of bullocks back into a field and I,m me.
    There not exactly tigers.
    Even after having to tie up too excitable dogs to do it.
    • Like Like x 3
  6. BiscuitsAB

    BiscuitsAB LE Moderator

    Grantham! Enough said, ******* most inbreed bunch of retarded sister ******* you're ever likely to meet. Marksman probably couldn't decide which of his two index fingers to put on the trigger.
    • Like Like x 7
    • Funny Funny x 1
  7. OFFS, ******* thick urban plod bastards, Belgian blues are ******* big cattle, but they are above all very gentle, a couple of hours chilling with good grass and she'd be mellowed to ****.
    • Like Like x 1
  8. In other news, Lincolnshire Constabulary would like to invite you all to a barbecue.
    • Like Like x 12
    • Funny Funny x 2
  9. The girly FMJ ammunition issued to police is not going to drop a cow with one shot, I doubt that he missed the animal, he just shot it badly and tortured it a bit.

    I once got dragged out of bed here by the GCP to a neighbour's farm which was on fire, the cattle, 42 Holsteiners and nearly as many young hogs, were trapped in the burning half timbered barn and stalls, I had to shoot as many of them as I could, which wasn't many, through the open doorway, not helped by the crowds gathering on all sides and an over enthusiastic elderly German hunter. It was a very ******* grim experience and I lost a lot of hair with the heat. The German police knew well enough that they didn't have the firepower, or training to kill a cow humanely with one shot, when an animal escapes from a slaughter house or transporter crash, they ping the nearest hunters.
  10. On an exercise in southern Belgium a friendly callsign lost control on a corner and put a big FO hole in a fence - within minutes a whole herd of curious Belgian Blues came over to watch the show, including a VERY BIG FO bull, not unlike this one.


    The crew commander whose vehicle hit the fence was told to make sure none of the animals escaped while myself and the Belgian LO went off to find the farmer and let him know what had happened.

    The Cpl crew commander was a Brummie and had obviously never been closer to a cow other than what tipped up on his plate at dinnertime. He seemed a bit concerned at the size of the animals.

    Anyway, the LO managed to keep a straight face as I told the Cpl that all he had to do was to wave his arms and tell the cows to back off and go away....but as we were in Belgium he needed to shout the instructions in French otherwise the cows would not understand him. I demonstrated waving my arms and shouting "Allez...vite!" and several cows obligingly backed off.

    "What about the bull?"

    "You'll have to shout a bit louder and you might need a big stick just in case he doesn't do as he's told"

    We went to the farmhouse, explained the situation and had a nice cup of coffee with the farmer, returning to the incident site about half an hour later with the farmer in tow, plus some wire and stuff to put in a temporary repair to the fence.

    A very stressed Cpl was still standing in the gap in the fence, waving his arms and shouting "allez, allez,". He had a pick helve in one hand in case the bull got too close...

    The Belgian LO explained what was going on at which point the farmer nearly pissed himself laughing, before explaining that the bull was so soft it could be led round the farmyard like a lamb by his young children.

    • Like Like x 10
  11. Methinks the lady/web toed lackwit protests too much.
    • Like Like x 2
  12. Ye gods man. Killing a cow is nor difficult, even if the cow is agitated. A little time to let the beast settle and present a shot. If FMJ is the only ammo available, a shot through the front of the skull as it 'nods' or one in through behind the ear. Neither shot should be a problem to a 'competent' marksman although the latter shot requires more care due to shoot through. Failing that, a shot through the neck (spine) will anchor the beast to allow you to pay the insurance!
  13. Bollocks! I thought this was a thread about my APWT score!
    • Like Like x 3
  14. Belgian Blue my arse, its clearly a North Korean 5th Columist sent to get target information for a pre-emptive strike
  15. Amazing...they just blend right in don't they?


    • Like Like x 7