1. Do you have more wives than teeth? 2. Do you own a $25,000 rocket launcher but refuse to shell out on a decent pair of boots? 3. Do you cultivate poppy but have a moral objection to beer? 4. Do you think vests come in 2 styles? - Bullet proof and suicide? And most significantly..... 5. Do you scrape the shit off your sweaty arse with your bare left hand, but consider bacon unclean?!