Costa Concordia - what would you do?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Dashing_Chap, Jan 17, 2012.

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  1. So you're sipping fine champagne over dinner with a well tanned tart and you're all dressed up in your evening rig. The ship is gliding gently along the coast of a Mediterranean Island, the glossy sea reflects the moonlight off it's crystal surface and everything has a serene calmness. The band are playing Chopin and the waiter comes round with another tray when suddenly.............................. BAMO!!!!!!!!

    What do you do?

  2. In the ensuing confusion I would bang you over the head with a fire extinguisher, fill your pockets with heavy lead crystal glass and then drop you head first down the nearest flooded stairwell.
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  3. where someone would then tell you to bore off and use the search function to locate the numerous existing threads on how to escape a capsized and sinking ocean liner.
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  4. Tryand think of a really good excuse to tell the wife when she finds out I was swanning around the Med on a cruise ship and not at work like I told her.

    Will there be time to bang the well tanned tart before we abandon ship?
  5. I'd log onto the other Concordia thread.

    It's certainly more interesting.
  6. LancePrivateJones

    LancePrivateJones LE Book Reviewer

    Firstly I would put in a complaint about the music.

    Bands do not fucking well play Chopin.

    Classical Pianists do.
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  7. (c) Bill Bryson
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  8. Well obviously I would use the confusion to rape the nearest gorgeous wench, find the ships safe and empty that and go through the richest rooms for all the nice pickings in there.
  9. This incident was nothing like the Titanic. The band failed to play "Abide with me" right up to the end.

    The Italians have NO style.
  10. The band should have been playing Puccini's famous work....

    "Chi troppo vuole nulla stringe."

    Eng: We're all fucked now.....
  11. Any piccies of the well tanned tart?
  12. Does the United States Navy know some chavs have nicked it and are currently doing handbrake turns with just off Brighton beach?
  13. That's if that slippery pikey Ravers hasn't got there first.
  14. Lordy! Who was driving that ? Captain fucking Haddock ?