Correct W@nking etiquette for aerobic classes.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Dwarf, Jun 15, 2010.

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  1. Dive into the class

    22.6%
  2. Hide behind the door

    32.3%
  3. Race to the bogs

    32.3%
  4. Other, see below.

    12.9%

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  1. I have posed this one to my catalan, and totally civvy mates and they have absolutely no concept of what it is all about. Shocked looks and shaken heads are all I get. So knowing the perverts and sickoes that haunt this forum I just know that someone will have an answer for me.

    The other day I came out of the gym and walked past the female aerobics class. Somebody had left the door open and the entire class of fit, lycra bound young ladies were bending over presenting me with a full view of fadge and starfish, wiggling them in my face.
    So to the question, what is the absolute correct etiquette for the situation? Does one dive into the class wanging the todger about and hoping to have it grabbed then or later on, hide behind the door with head poking out and whacking the dick under cover, or race downstairs to the bog and thrap oneself to death?
    Or what options have I missed?
     
  2. Go and join in with the exercise fat boy.
     
  3. Agreed, after a visit to the toilet. Anyother actions border on perversion 8O
     
  4. Fat!? Not an extra kilo on my gorgeous frame, well perhaps only one but at my age that's acceptable. No, I was working on my shape so as to be fit for the wenches at the Playas to feast their eyes on.
    So there.
     
  5. I personally would probabily stand at the door and whack one off. I admit to being a perv, its one of my finer qualities!
     
  6. Sorry Dwarf. I was being cheeky. Mwah X
     
  7. I would W*nk off behind the door with my face pressed against the glass. Its a lot more erotic masterbating whilst peeping at women when they can't see you.

    I always feel like an explorer observing a lost civilisation or a stalker hunting a deer.
     
  8. I'd suggest waiting in the car park, wearing an old overcoat, fiddling with yourself and salivating, before jumping out on the ladies as they leave fresh from the shower, giving them a flash and shouting 'Howdya like THEM apples, b1tches???'
     
  9. Could do it whilst they are all in the class
     
  10. 1. Enjoy the spectacle for a little while.
    2. Nip to the bogs and fill a water balloon with your winnings
    3. Run into the exercise class shouting 'Spunky Krakatoa!' and hurl the spaff bomb into their midst
    4. Exit with the speed of a dozen tall indians riding swift gazelles
    5. Cancel your gym membership
     
  11. You could always follow one of them home ?
     
  12. That's interesting. It's how I met my girlfriend.
     
  13. Ahhh, but if its in a darkened car park, you get that momentary look of terror as they think 'Ahhh, he might rape me!' just as you spaff off, which I think you'll agree only makes it better...
     
  14. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Don't be shy. Simply drop your keks, run in and slam-dunk the fattest fadge you can see being squeezed by the lycra. Put in sufficient effort to break through and make entry.

    When she starts to yell and thrash about, cling on with one hand, leaving the other doing the 'Rodeo windmill', while you shout "Yeah baby, how'dya like them apples, YEAH!"

    Even if you don't get a ready-made and admiring audience, you at least get your rocks off in style before getting put in clink where 'Big Dee' will do the same to you in the shower block.

    Hope that helps.
     
  15. Surprise sex always works best don’t forget the ski mask.