Correct W@nking etiquette for aerobic classes.

Correst Drills

  • Dive into the class

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  • Hide behind the door

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Race to the bogs

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Other, see below.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0
#1
I have posed this one to my catalan, and totally civvy mates and they have absolutely no concept of what it is all about. Shocked looks and shaken heads are all I get. So knowing the perverts and sickoes that haunt this forum I just know that someone will have an answer for me.

The other day I came out of the gym and walked past the female aerobics class. Somebody had left the door open and the entire class of fit, lycra bound young ladies were bending over presenting me with a full view of fadge and starfish, wiggling them in my face.
So to the question, what is the absolute correct etiquette for the situation? Does one dive into the class wanging the todger about and hoping to have it grabbed then or later on, hide behind the door with head poking out and whacking the dick under cover, or race downstairs to the bog and thrap oneself to death?
Or what options have I missed?
 
#4
Wishful_Thinking said:
Dwarf said:
Or what options have I missed?
Go and join in with the exercise fat boy.
Fat!? Not an extra kilo on my gorgeous frame, well perhaps only one but at my age that's acceptable. No, I was working on my shape so as to be fit for the wenches at the Playas to feast their eyes on.
So there.
 
#6
Dwarf said:
Wishful_Thinking said:
Dwarf said:
Or what options have I missed?
Go and join in with the exercise fat boy.
Fat!? Not an extra kilo on my gorgeous frame, well perhaps only one but at my age that's acceptable. No, I was working on my shape so as to be fit for the wenches at the Playas to feast their eyes on.
So there.
Sorry Dwarf. I was being cheeky. Mwah X
 
#7
I would W*nk off behind the door with my face pressed against the glass. Its a lot more erotic masterbating whilst peeping at women when they can't see you.

I always feel like an explorer observing a lost civilisation or a stalker hunting a deer.
 
#8
I'd suggest waiting in the car park, wearing an old overcoat, fiddling with yourself and salivating, before jumping out on the ladies as they leave fresh from the shower, giving them a flash and shouting 'Howdya like THEM apples, b1tches???'
 
#9
Bradstyley said:
I'd suggest waiting in the car park, wearing an old overcoat, fiddling with yourself and salivating, before jumping out on the ladies as they leave fresh from the shower, giving them a flash and shouting 'Howdya like THEM apples, b1tches???'
Could do it whilst they are all in the class
 
#10
1. Enjoy the spectacle for a little while.
2. Nip to the bogs and fill a water balloon with your winnings
3. Run into the exercise class shouting 'Spunky Krakatoa!' and hurl the spaff bomb into their midst
4. Exit with the speed of a dozen tall indians riding swift gazelles
5. Cancel your gym membership
 
#12
Bradstyley said:
I'd suggest waiting in the car park, wearing an old overcoat, fiddling with yourself and salivating, before jumping out on the ladies as they leave fresh from the shower, giving them a flash and shouting 'Howdya like THEM apples, b1tches???'
That's interesting. It's how I met my girlfriend.
 
#13
Ahhh, but if its in a darkened car park, you get that momentary look of terror as they think 'Ahhh, he might rape me!' just as you spaff off, which I think you'll agree only makes it better...
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#14
Don't be shy. Simply drop your keks, run in and slam-dunk the fattest fadge you can see being squeezed by the lycra. Put in sufficient effort to break through and make entry.

When she starts to yell and thrash about, cling on with one hand, leaving the other doing the 'Rodeo windmill', while you shout "Yeah baby, how'dya like them apples, YEAH!"

Even if you don't get a ready-made and admiring audience, you at least get your rocks off in style before getting put in clink where 'Big Dee' will do the same to you in the shower block.

Hope that helps.
 
#17
Hide behind the door Hitler Wnak for me, lean forward with your non-jerking arm against the door thus securing the door, forming a "nazi salute."
 
#19
Best strategy is to film the occasion for "posterity", in full glorious technicolour.

Zip down to the shitter and crack the lid of it in double-time whilst the visual memory is still fresh and your nostrils are still flared with the scent of puckered date.

Edit high-res film at your leisure...........watch and shoot, watch and shoot.
 
#20
wolverine9314 said:
Bradstyley said:
I'd suggest waiting in the car park, wearing an old overcoat, fiddling with yourself and salivating, before jumping out on the ladies as they leave fresh from the shower, giving them a flash and shouting 'Howdya like THEM apples, b1tches???'
That's interesting. It's how I met my girlfriend.
Jill Dando?
 
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