Cops and doggers

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by JRHartley, Sep 15, 2006.

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  1. "After that Tom was outside the car and I was knelt on the passenger’s seat with my trousers down. We pretended to have sex."

    Oh really stupid bint.

    And the Marine looks really intelligent aswell.
  2. Another badly shaped beret!!!
  3. "At one stage he even got a call on his radio but told fellow cops: “I’m busy at the moment — I’ll get back to you in 20 minutes.”

    What's wrong with the two stock answers:

    Sorry, tied up ~ or ~ Area searched, No Trace

    "Tom said he had heard that doggers — people who enjoy outdoor sex with strangers — flash their headlights as a signal.

    25yo, a Soldier who's out with a lady who's a mother of five - and he's heard that doggers flash their headlights as a signal

    "Tom said he flashed his own lights as a joke. Lumber then approached them and asked the woman to get out — telling her that he was aroused."

    Some joke I'd bet Tom didn't laugh too much with Smeggit Body Armour scraping his crotch.

    I'll bet the two were well worried after they realised the bloke was a real plod

    ...and it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something you may later wish to lie about in Court!

    Best one I've read for a long time - even beats my knocking on a door doing a PAATCO for a bail enq and then walking round the back to find my colleague p!ss!ng in the blokes dustbin. Was a cold night though.........
  4. she sounds like a seasoned Pro, 5 kids, sausage allyway come to mind, Tom needs to slap it up them wrens not some slapper!
  5. In the Dail Mail it said she remained anonymous and there was a photo of her with her head turned. Even the back of her head is ugly.
  6. He aint the first 'strange' copper to get caught. We had one in our force who would go out catch the cows (prostitutes) and then say to them 'blow job or locked up'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Only got caught when about 10 of the lovely ladies got together and made a complaint... personally I was amazed he could let any of the drug riddled beasts any where near his 'john thomas', takes all sorts I suppose. And what is going on with that Bootys beret???? :p :p
  7. Your late reporting this, I posted this yesterday, its in the Naffi!.
  8. Just read the Daily Mail offering. He was probably gagging for a sh@g what with his missus being pregnant. She says she's standing by him too, which isn't bad.

    Wonder how many have read the piece and condemned the participants out of hand when they are privately wishing their sex lives were half as exciting?
  9. Gives a whole new meaning to 'on the beat'....

    I love this:
    She SO didn't mention the truncheon. I bet it was neatly 'included' by the hack.
  10. Not bad? She's carrying his baby and because he's 'gagging for it' this is an acceptable outlet? She's standing by him because she's probably feeling insecure and unsexy, poor woman. And no, I don't wish my sex life was like this.... :x
  11. Christ!! I'll say, I couldn't agree with doomandgloom more. biffing some old tart in the back of a sierra down some dodgy lane with old fridges and builders rubble all around you, not my cup of tea.
    still funny though!
  12. "Royal Marine Tom Sharpe, 25 — the pal she was with who agreed to be identified — told how he and the woman had driven out for a cuddle."

    1. Why on earth would you possibly want to be identified???? Even Max Clifford couldn't put a positive spin on this????

    2. A cuddle with a pal????

    3. Has anyone thought his head could actually be that shape????
  14. Don't you just know it! I'm surprised thay passed up on the opportunity to mention his 'helmet'!