Cops and doggers

#2
"After that Tom was outside the car and I was knelt on the passenger’s seat with my trousers down. We pretended to have sex."

Oh really stupid bint.

And the Marine looks really intelligent aswell.
 
#4
JRHartley said:
In the scum today.......

Plod, Royal marine, someones missus and a country lane....
"At one stage he even got a call on his radio but told fellow cops: “I’m busy at the moment — I’ll get back to you in 20 minutes.”

What's wrong with the two stock answers:

Sorry, tied up ~ or ~ Area searched, No Trace

"Tom said he had heard that doggers — people who enjoy outdoor sex with strangers — flash their headlights as a signal.

25yo, a Soldier who's out with a lady who's a mother of five - and he's heard that doggers flash their headlights as a signal

"Tom said he flashed his own lights as a joke. Lumber then approached them and asked the woman to get out — telling her that he was aroused."

Some joke I'd bet Tom didn't laugh too much with Smeggit Body Armour scraping his crotch.

I'll bet the two were well worried after they realised the bloke was a real plod

...and it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something you may later wish to lie about in Court!

Best one I've read for a long time - even beats my knocking on a door doing a PAATCO for a bail enq and then walking round the back to find my colleague p!ss!ng in the blokes dustbin. Was a cold night though.........
 
#5
she sounds like a seasoned Pro, 5 kids, sausage allyway come to mind, Tom needs to slap it up them wrens not some slapper!
 
#7
He aint the first 'strange' copper to get caught. We had one in our force who would go out catch the cows (prostitutes) and then say to them 'blow job or locked up'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Only got caught when about 10 of the lovely ladies got together and made a complaint... personally I was amazed he could let any of the drug riddled beasts any where near his 'john thomas', takes all sorts I suppose. And what is going on with that Bootys beret???? :p :p
 
#9
Just read the Daily Mail offering. He was probably gagging for a sh@g what with his missus being pregnant. She says she's standing by him too, which isn't bad.

Wonder how many have read the piece and condemned the participants out of hand when they are privately wishing their sex lives were half as exciting?
 
#10
Gives a whole new meaning to 'on the beat'....

I love this:
“He was wearing full police uniform — his hat, white shirt and truncheon. I felt sick.”
She SO didn't mention the truncheon. I bet it was neatly 'included' by the hack.
 
#11
mukhabarat2003 said:
Just read the Daily Mail offering. He was probably gagging for a sh@g what with his missus being pregnant. She says she's standing by him too, which isn't bad.

Wonder how many have read the piece and condemned the participants out of hand when they are privately wishing their sex lives were half as exciting?
Not bad? She's carrying his baby and because he's 'gagging for it' this is an acceptable outlet? She's standing by him because she's probably feeling insecure and unsexy, poor woman. And no, I don't wish my sex life was like this.... :x
 
#12
Christ!! I'll say, I couldn't agree with doomandgloom more. biffing some old tart in the back of a sierra down some dodgy lane with old fridges and builders rubble all around you, not my cup of tea.
still funny though!
 
#13
"Royal Marine Tom Sharpe, 25 — the pal she was with who agreed to be identified — told how he and the woman had driven out for a cuddle."

1. Why on earth would you possibly want to be identified???? Even Max Clifford couldn't put a positive spin on this????

2. A cuddle with a pal????

3. Has anyone thought his head could actually be that shape????
 
#14
Lance_Jacked said:
"Royal Marine Tom Sharpe, 25 — the pal she was with who agreed to be identified — told how he and the woman had driven out for a cuddle."

1. Why on earth would you possibly want to be identified???? Even Max Clifford couldn't put a positive spin on this????

2. A cuddle with a pal????

3. Has anyone thought his head could actually be that shape????[/quote]

Young Tom was probably delivered at birth by the use of calf extracting forceps by Frankenstein himself.
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#15
Forces_Sweetheart said:
Gives a whole new meaning to 'on the beat'....

I love this:
“He was wearing full police uniform — his hat, white shirt and truncheon. I felt sick.”
She SO didn't mention the truncheon. I bet it was neatly 'included' by the hack.
Don't you just know it! I'm surprised thay passed up on the opportunity to mention his 'helmet'!
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#16
doomandgloom said:
Lance_Jacked said:
"Royal Marine Tom Sharpe, 25 — the pal she was with who agreed to be identified — told how he and the woman had driven out for a cuddle."

1. Why on earth would you possibly want to be identified???? Even Max Clifford couldn't put a positive spin on this????

2. A cuddle with a pal????

3. Has anyone thought his head could actually be that shape????[/quote]

Young Tom was probably delivered at birth by the use of calf extracting forceps by Frankenstein himself.
You beat me to it.......that is one non standard napper isn't it?
 
#17
Biscuits_AB said:
Forces_Sweetheart said:
Gives a whole new meaning to 'on the beat'....

I love this:
“He was wearing full police uniform — his hat, white shirt and truncheon. I felt sick.”
She SO didn't mention the truncheon. I bet it was neatly 'included' by the hack.
Don't you just know it! I'm surprised thay passed up on the opportunity to mention his 'helmet'!
...and hand-cuffs, squalid journo humour never deviates too far from the usual Carry On film type tosh...
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#18
From the reports I am not sure whether the copper fancied the old slapper or the marine!!!!!!!!!! :cry: :cry:
 
#19
Auld-Yin said:
From the reports I am not sure whether the copper fancied the old slapper or the marine!!!!!!!!!! :cry: :cry:
Totally off tangent here.... My wife tells me that her ma' and pa' almost named her Marina! I wouldn't have married her if that had been her name. Shame they didn't call her Marina.... :roll:
 
#20
doomandgloom said:
Auld-Yin said:
From the reports I am not sure whether the copper fancied the old slapper or the marine!!!!!!!!!! :cry: :cry:
Totally off tangent here.... My wife tells me that her ma' and pa' almost named her Marina! I wouldn't have married her if that had been her name. Shame they didn't call her Marina.... :roll:
So if she'd been born a boy they'd have called her Morris? :D
 

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