From Various posts and some pm's I have noticed that amongst the rank and file of Arrse there are some people with some serious health issues. I myself have had kidney problems which were then overtaken by heart problems including 5 heart attacks in the last 3 years, with atrial fibulation and heart failure thrown in on top of the heart disease I often wonder how I am still here. Over the last few years it has been really difficult coping with this problem, from the lack of mobility and the effects it has on family and friends. This in it turn created psycological problems related to the illness and coping mechanisms. What I would like to know is how others cope with similar problems. I have been through the self pity stage and the angry stage and am constantly trying to move forward, its not easy because my problem can't be fixed and sometime, like today for instance, it consumes you and drives you mad. I have been sitting here with a hr of about 140 bpm in af for most of the day it has been painfull. I know that I should of gone to the hospital and probably should do as I write this, but after 12 admissions so far this year I really can't be bothered. I know this is wrong but I feel like I can't put my family through all the trouble again, and some deep part of the brain wants the worst to happen while the sensible bit says to get urgent medical attention. If you have an illness how do you cope with it? Do you have your own set of rules that keeps you going? What I'm trying to do is to find a way to make life easier for my family and myself. This is not in the naffi bar and I have had to think long and hard before starting this thread.