cool jobs to be dikd for

#1
was watching my weekly instalment of cage rage the other day (bunch of tattooed morons beating the hell out of each other) when i noticed as each opponent was stepping in the ring there were people in green kit stood to attention. To my surprise it was our beloved corps and made me wonder what a pretty good dik job that would (well only if you were interested in that thing) and also what regiment they were from (probably blandford!). Does anyone know about this or anyone got any better jobs that they have been dik'd for

cheers

GM
 
#2
greenmachine said:
was watching my weekly instalment of cage rage the other day (bunch of tattooed morons beating the hell out of each other) when i noticed as each opponent was stepping in the ring there were people in green kit stood to attention. To my surprise it was our beloved corps and made me wonder what a pretty good dik job that would (well only if you were interested in that thing) and also what regiment they were from (probably blandford!). Does anyone know about this or anyone got any better jobs that they have been dik'd for
You get to watch semi-naked sweaty blokes grappling? I'd rather scrape bodies off the motorway with my barehands. Homoeroticism ain't big and it ain't clever.
 
#3
Yeah I went to 238 (sick lame n lazy) and got diked for the QBP two or 3 times - dolly birds everywhere on the Mall - they used to love the blues (until Queen Betty came along and spoiled it of course).
 
#4
i was dicked for the FA cup final 2002. had to walk on pitch holding the arsenal flag, watch the match from behind the macdonalds advertising board and see freddie ljungberg put in a screamer from quite possibly the best angle in the ground. also had the priveledge to see dennis bergkamp one on one after the game, a hero of mine.

as an arsenal fan, it was a happy day. cant believe it when they said "i need 25 volounteers." turned out to be a school boys dream!

wore my arsenal shirt under my "army be the best" jumper.

what a day.
 
#5
was once asked if i fancied doing a cadre course or going on a jolly to Hong Kong,(3 weeks before xmas 1995) yeah you guessed it i gave up the chance of running around Sennybridge for 2 weeks!
 
#6
Was diked when I was at Harrogate to be crowd control/'bodyguard' for Linda Lusardi (former page 3 model for all you young uns) when she was opening a charity fete near the camp. About 6 of us from senior term were asked to go and one was asked to play the bagpipes on to introduce her, she ended up lifting his kilt and baring his arse for the national press......
 
#7
my squadron was told that we had volunteered to do an NBC excercise at porton down "and by the way you all have to sign these waivers"......."cos i fukin said so!!!"
 
#8
slopey_shoulders said:
was once asked if i fancied doing a cadre course or going on a jolly to Hong Kong,(3 weeks before xmas 1995) yeah you guessed it i gave up the chance of running around Sennybridge for 2 weeks!
SS

Yep and a good time was had by all from my hazy recollections

AY
 
#10
Got dik'd last week to be the escort for a James Blunt/Katherine Jenkins/Jim Davidson concert. Can tell you it was absolutely gutting not being in work all week!!!
 
#12
I got dik'd to go to 254 back in 1990..... That was the best dik job I ever did in the Army. 6 months of Napa, World Cup to boot as well....
 
#13
jack-daniels said:
Met that Katherine Jenkins last year, how fit is she! Converted me to classical music from that moment on.
Oh yes, and how fit does she look in a Welsh Rugby shirt? Hmm (and I know opinion is divided on this) but she made Charlotte Church look really, really ordinary when they sang together, and im a fan of Miss Church, but KJ is something else.

New Mrs PotYos perhaps? Its on the todo list.
 
#14
Got to bodyguard Miss World (Venezuelan lass, very nice) in Bosnia but she was stolen from my possession by Sgts and WOs! Lucky sods. In revenge we sent "Fish out of Marillion" along too...
 
#15
When I was at JSSU(FI) I got dik'ed twice to go to sea on the guard ship for a month or so each time.
First trip I had to endure being a guest onboard. As a guest you can’t buy beer, they give it to you, what a shame. Then horror of horrors a 5 day run ashore in Montevideo.
Second trip I again had the displeasure of being a guest in a 54 man mess. It was my birthday whilst at sea and every man in the mess gave me one of his daily allowance of 2 cans. Then I had to have a week ashore in Montevideo and Buenos Aries.
It was crap. No really it was
 
#16
easy-wan-kenobi said:
i was dicked for the FA cup final 2002. had to walk on pitch holding the arsenal flag, watch the match from behind the macdonalds advertising board and see freddie ljungberg put in a screamer from quite possibly the best angle in the ground. also had the priveledge to see dennis bergkamp one on one after the game, a hero of mine.

as an arsenal fan, it was a happy day. cant believe it when they said "i need 25 volounteers." turned out to be a school boys dream!

wore my arsenal shirt under my "army be the best" jumper.

what a day.
Sounds like hell on earth to me, but can understand would have been the same with the Yid Army
 
#17
Got snaffled to do the final Allied Forces Day parade in Berlin. Complete swan - drove up on the Sunday, bit of drill on the Monday morning, and the rest of the day on the pop in the city - fantastic.
Continued in the same vein for the rest of the week, did the parade on the Saturday, with a couple of hundred thousand people watching us! Remember being stood there whilst the speeches were being done in 3 languages, and our guard commander forgot to order us to change arms (the SSM took over in the end) - stood there for ages.
Then spend the rest of the night on the lash in some well dodgy places (lots of scantily (and less) clad ladies of ill repute if my hazy memory serves me well!)
 
#18
when i got to my first unit the FofS called me into his office and said that he'd heard i knew a bit about computers. I desperate to Impress said yes FofS i've done the first year in a computer studies BTEC

3 days later i was at the dutch school of signals for 5 whole weeks of alcohol poisoning at its finest went straight on 2 weeks xmas leave to get phoned up to get told we had been given a weeks free leave extension.

7 years later and my kidneys still hurt
 
#19
I turned up at my first unit and after about a week i got called into the troop staffies office. He turned round and said "you said you could ski on your initial interview, fancy going to austria in 2 weeks" Next thing i know i'm very drunk and trying to remember how to stop myself hurtling down a mountain on 2 thin bits of wood. Cold snow up your nose is a wonder of a hangover cure though.
 
#20
One morning I dik'd 2 lads to go and recce for a suitable venue in Dusseldorf for a Sqn function. They came back pi$$ed! Needless to say they found a suitable venue AND could vouch for good ale!