Cool Dudes.

#1
We've had 'thick squaddie', 'thick officer' and 'unseen celeb tits'.

But have we had really fukcing cool dudes? You know, the "I was on the balcony, the guy on fire but I shot 4 of the basterds" type?

And, ooops, if this has been done to death before, apologies!

1989, Hawley, JSSCD.

We were on top of the hill and had finished practising our demo, runway/airfield repair.
For the Nth time.

Knock off, jump into (open) 4 tonner, drive down hill towards the Hard. An Harrier was just coming in to land on the lower sandy area, to the right of the track. Onto that tinny stuff, built by 10 Sqn. We stopped. We had Grandstand view, so to speak.

The pilot timed it wrong, sucked up loads of FOD and crashed the 'plane just beside the landing pad.
We stopped, awe inspired. How many days ROP's would he get? King Hell's Bells.

Pilot jumps out, saunters up to our 4 tonner, bumms a lift and askes us where the nearest telphone booth is. One of us tells the pilot.

One of us asks what happens next?

"Well", says he, "I will tell the Squadron that I have crashed my 'plane, they will send up transport in time for me to get back to the Mess in time for G & T's (well, I would say that!) and that's all really.
Oh yes, they'll send up a lowloader tomorrow to pick up the Harrier."

We dropped off the pilot at a booth and never saw him again.

Next morning a lowloader turned up and removed the Harrier.

Well, I thought the guy was pretty cool.
 
T

trowel

Guest
#2
We've had 'thick squaddie', 'thick officer' and 'unseen celeb tits'.

But have we had really fukcing cool dudes? You know, the "I was on the balcony, the guy on fire but I shot 4 of the basterds" type?

And, ooops, if this has been done to death before, apologies!

1989, Hawley, JSSCD.

We were on top of the hill and had finished practising our demo, runway/airfield repair.
For the Nth time.

Knock off, jump into (open) 4 tonner, drive down hill towards the Hard. An Harrier was just coming in to land on the lower sandy area, to the right of the track. Onto that tinny stuff, built by 10 Sqn. We stopped. We had Grandstand view, so to speak.

The pilot timed it wrong, sucked up loads of FOD and crashed the 'plane just beside the landing pad.
We stopped, awe inspired. How many days ROP's would he get? King Hell's Bells.

Pilot jumps out, saunters up to our 4 tonner, bumms a lift and askes us where the nearest telphone booth is. One of us tells the pilot.

One of us asks what happens next?

"Well", says he, "I will tell the Squadron that I have crashed my 'plane, they will send up transport in time for me to get back to the Mess in time for G & T's (well, I would say that!) and that's all really.
Oh yes, they'll send up a lowloader tomorrow to pick up the Harrier."

We dropped off the pilot at a booth and never saw him again.

Next morning a lowloader turned up and removed the Harrier.

Well, I thought the guy was pretty cool.
Nothing cool about being so nonchalant over writing off one of MY aircraft.
 
#4
^^^^^^^^^^^

Nice of you to monitor the site Your Majesty
 

skid2

LE
Book Reviewer
#7
I bumped into the guy who claimed he executed some pilot for bouncing a plane. He bought me a pint, that was cool.
 
#8
Think he was talking about a real one not Airfix.
The main thing that struck me was the easy-going reaction by the pilot.

If I had wrecked anything worth 1% of an Harrier, I would have shit myself 24/7. Right up until the moment I would be dragged up on 'orders'.
 
#11
I always thought Compo from 'Last of......' was really cool, didn't give a shit about
anything except how to get into Nora Batty's bloomers.

What was in that fcuking matchbox ?
 
#12
I always thought Compo from 'Last of......' was really cool
Well I think you're cool for being able to watch that bollocks.

Eh oop, there's a bath.
Eeeeh, let's roll it down t'hill for a laugh, eh?

Eh oop, there's a sofa.
Eeeeh, let's roll it down t'hill for a laugh, eh?

Eh oop, there's a surgical appliance.
Eeeeh, let's roll it down t'hill for a laugh eh?

What a load of crap.
 
#13
It always seemed to me that the characters in "Last of The..... although they were depicted as adults, the charcters were actually children.

Naafi Bar. bollocks tits minge.
 
#14
It always seemed to me that the characters in "Last of The..... although they were depicted as adults, the charcters were actually children.

Naafi Bar. bollocks tits minge.
The audience is actually 'children', in the sense that senility has dimmed their powers of thought.

"Last of" appealed directly to an audience of demented pensioners, who would sit in their care homes, soaked in piss, hooting at their sofa driving antics.

A glimpse of some tart's stocking? Steady now, Mr Hastings, it's only the telly, so take your hand off my leg. Do you need the potty for a plop plop?

The reason why they took it off the air is that most of their core audience died on the po in the last ten years.
 
#15
It always seemed to me that the characters in "Last of The..... although they were depicted as adults, the charcters were actually children.

Naafi Bar. bollocks tits minge.
Something like 'Blue Remembered Hills' eh?

Oi, you Turban wearing twat, I didn't do fcuking cartwheels or backflips over 'Last of

I said I thought Compo was cool......now get your fcuking nose out of the trough
and make room for my feet, prannock.

By the way, there's no 'H' in 'ill!
 
T

Taffd

Guest
#16
Well I think you're cool for being able to watch that bollocks.

Eh oop, there's a bath.
Eeeeh, let's roll it down t'hill for a laugh, eh?

Eh oop, there's a sofa.
Eeeeh, let's roll it down t'hill for a laugh, eh?

Eh oop, there's a surgical appliance.
Eeeeh, let's roll it down t'hill for a laugh eh?

What a load of crap.
I see you watched it regular though.
 
#17
"Last of" appealed directly to an audience of demented pensioners, who would sit in their care homes, soaked in piss, hooting at their sofa driving antics.
Crikey, must tell them to close the curtains, we're being spied on!
 
#18
I see you watched it regular though.
It's the wife, sat there, shovelling a packet of Matchmakers and some Regal Kings into her face, who watches it. I'm in the kitchen on the laptop whenever it comes on. Same for all the bloody soaps, which is why my posting rate peaks between 1900 and 2000. Unless the footy's on.

I occasionally overhear their latest 'object down the hill' escapade.
 
#19
Well I think you're cool for being able to watch that bollocks.

Eh oop, there's a bath.
Eeeeh, let's roll it down t'hill for a laugh, eh?

Eh oop, there's a sofa.
Eeeeh, let's roll it down t'hill for a laugh, eh?

Eh oop, there's a surgical appliance.
Eeeeh, let's roll it down t'hill for a laugh eh?

What a load of crap.
But I see from you're Avatart that you are a It aint half hot mum fan

" La dee daa Gunner Graham"
" You raddy foool"
"Cha Wallah"
"show of them shoulders boy"
"puffs"
"Why do you whisper green grass"
"SHUUUUTTTUPPP"

What a superb series - soon to be banned by the beeb...shame
 
#20
Good old KotB, you're a closet fan, is that why you've got Michael Bates as your
Avatar?
 

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