Cooking Bacon the American Way...

OldSnowy

LE
Book Reviewer
This really speaks for itself. I wonder if anyone has done this on a GPMG(SF)? It would be easier than a MG with a barrel cover, as shown here. And of course, you could boil the water for the necessary tea ith a handy Vickers.

http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/223901/true-american-cooks-bacon-with-machine-gun/

True American cooks bacon with machine gun
As redditor Oelund proved, you’re not a true American until you’ve cooked your bacon with a firearm.

And, no, he’s not referring to keeping a gun holstered while cooking said bacon. He’s talking about using a goddamn machine gun as a cooking device–and he’ll be damned if he’s going to let the increasing criticism of gun culture stop him from firing off a few hundred rounds to scare up some breakfast meat.

Behold this handy step by step guide:

You start by wrapping the barrel in tin foil. Then you wrap bacon around it, and tie it down with some string.



you then wrap some more tin foil around it, and once again tie it down with string.



It is now ready to be inserted into the cooking device. I ripped the tin foil a little bit getting the barrel inserted. that part of the bacon got severely burned by hot gasses.



After just a few short bursts you should be able to smell the wonderful aroma of bacon.



I gave this about 250 rounds. but I think around 150 might actually be enough. But then again I don’t mind when bacon is crispy. Ahh the smell of sizzling bacon mixed with the smell of gunpowder and weapon oil.



And the end result: Crispy delicious well done bacon.



It’s the perfect recipe for anyone who thinks there’s not enough gun powder in bacon or for any time Ted Nugent drops in unannounced.
 

Chef

LE
'Everything is improved by the addition of bacon.'It is written and is true.
 
An Americans idea of bacon and mine are two different things! that's all I have to say on the matter, Oh except they are all fat cnuts.
 

alib

LE
Where are the eggs?
 
Army Catering Manual states burn to Crispy black and scrape to the required colour!!
 
Got me starving now, how long till the red sauce / brown sauce argument kicks off ? Anyhoo, think I'll ask the Mr's if she'll cook me some of her false bacon now.
 
Probably cost twice as much in ammo if you used British (or Danish) bacon. The American stuff is so thin you could cook it by leaving it in the sun for 10 minutes.
First time I had some, I thought they'd given me the paper that separates the rashers by mistake.
 
..... and most of the stuff over here has so much water in it, it would end up as boiled bacon anyway. I've now taken to microwaving it all for 60 seconds to get the water out, then sticking it in the pan proper.
 
The added bonus is that the bacon imbues the discharged rounds with a kryptonite-like effect on all Taliban, ISIS, Jabhat al-Nusra, Boko Harām, Al-Shabaab etc,
 

OldSnowy

LE
Book Reviewer
The added bonus is that the bacon imbues the discharged rounds with a kryptonite-like effect on all Taliban, ISIS, Jabhat al-Nusra, Boko Harām, Al-Shabaab etc,
Good point - expect to see this article being used in ISIS propoganda instantly! Evil satanic yanks use bacon to polluteour clean (sic) martyr's bodies....
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
can you not just declare bacon an enemy of the state and call a drone strike on the pig?
 
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