Convincing family and friends

Discussion in 'Join the Army - Regular Officer Recruiting' started by DMan, Jun 8, 2011.

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  1. Hey everyone,

    just wanted to know other peoples stories about convincing your family and friends to support your choice of becoming an officer in the army.

    Everyone I talk to seems to be against the idea.


  2. Grow some balls. It's your life, ride it how you will. They're not gonna be there to hold your hand your entire life.

    Besides, chicks love a man in uniform.
    • Like Like x 1
  3. BTW - my experience was:

    "Dad, I'm off to join the Army"

    "Good! Perhaps they'll knock some ******* sense into you, you little scroat. If you can hack the discipline in Phase 1"
    • Like Like x 2
  4. Noted.

    I've been in a long term relationship and its getting to the point where we could be married soon. However, she absolutely hates the army (she's from paris) and I know the relationship wouldnt last if i joined. What would you do in this case? (serious replies please, no jokes about her being french :p)

  5. terroratthepicnic

    terroratthepicnic LE Reviewer Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Runners

    Frankly, if she bins you for joining the Army then your better off without her. Not only that, she's french.
  6. It's your choice and your life - only you can make that decision, no one else.

    Your wife may hate the Army but surely she would come to terms with it eventually. If you are getting to the point where you could get married, obviously she loves and adores you and would do anything for you. You would hope that she would want to support you in what you want to do.

    I hope she comes round to the idea of you joining up.
  7. Bin her. Once you're in Green kit, you'll be out and about finding some Sloane ranger to destroy on a nightly basis.

    Seriously??!?! French?! A Parisian French at that!

    Feel free to post photos of her.
  8. thanks becca
  9. Hello,

    Interesting post, had similar problems myself!

    The hardest question to answer for me was "when you come back in a wheelchair, who's going to look after you?"

    Still cant answer that question, and I don't think I even want to!

    My father nearly had a heart attack when I told him, but now he understands that despite the risks involved, the whole process WILL have a defining influence on my character till the day I die. Its not like a 3year+ gap year where you accomplish **** all, you develop yourself and gain useful experiences/insights that will come in handy later down the line. Your parents always want you to better yourself (ie why don't you do a masters bla bla bla its only one year etc. )

    For the mates, the challenge is what convinced mine, they're all starting work after Uni and soon to be moaning till retirement, while we aim for greater challenges and tests. Can't speak for you, but I've always picked the harder decisions and they respect that. It's amazing the amount of people who say "why would you want to do that?" when you say you're going for a quick run!!

    As for the girlfriends that's a difficult one, mine gets upset every time there's a program on Afghanistan and I haven't even passed my main board yet!!!!!

    Good luck!
  10. This sounds really simple but in reallity it is not. I cant just give up the last couple of years of my life just like that.
  11. No I will not smudge!!!
  12. It is though.

    It's either giving up the last couple of years or give up the rest of your life by staying with somebody who ignores your wishes.
  13. It really is that simple. If she's not going to back you in your decision to do what you want to do, then will she back you when you go for another job that she doesn't like?

    What's a couple of years, when compared to the "what if," or "if only I had," or "I regret not" for the rest of your life?
  14. Get onto Amazon and purchase the "Generation Kill" boxset. If you don't walk away from that thinking "**** me, put me down for some of that" then you're officially gay, and deserve to be stuck in an office for the rest of your life, being hen-pecked by your wife via email ;)
  15. Erm...

    My mum hated the idea, because she was my mum. I had to try and convince her of the good side of the Army, not just the killing and being killed bit. Then we saw "tears of the sun" one day and she cried. That required a massive regain...eventually the smart uniform and driven purpose one her over. Plus it's a good profession etc.

    Dad - no idea what he thought, but assumed and got the impression he was proud and chuffed with my decision. If your Dad doesn't want you to join, then why? Knowing his (and anyone's) reasons for not wanting you to join will allow you to tailor your argument.

    Girlfriend, looks to be wife material - if she cannot get her head aorund this career move and you seriously want to do it, YOU need to decide whether you want her or the job. Otherwise you will make a mistake I nearly did, go in knowing they're not over the moon about it and then try to make concessions during training, while being held to emotional blackmail by Missus. you then threaten your career AND your relationship. Hard as it is, if she will not be swayed, or pretends to, you are probably best off without, so need to man up and have that chat. If it causes a bust up now, my case is proved and after a week on the lash to get over it, you can get career back on track. Try to go off the rails at RMAS and it will not be pretty. Probable result - no chick and no commission.

    Convincing mates - a hash of the above - why don't they want you to join? Because they're worried? Or because they're all pinko, hippy, beatnik, peace loving weirdos? Convincing the worriers will be easy - tell them all the training keeps them as safe as you can be, that the stories of the deaths and amputations are 1 in a 1000 or whatever and carry on. Convicincing idealists will be like tempting a true veggie with a steak. Know your enemy (or worrier in this case) and conduct an estimate for each.