Contrived TV Programmes.

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
I've watched the curse of Oak Island for one reason.

When I was a kid, the school library had a series of magazines on mysteries/ghosts/pyramid power etc. One of the articles was about an island with a mysterious shaft known as 'the money pit'. While it was easy to snigger at those believing that a pyramid of copper wires would keep a razor sharp or that leaving a crystal out at in moonlight would recharge its mystical powers, this was something that was weird, real and unexplained.
I thought little of it until it was the basis for an episode of 'Bones' then forgot about it again.

when the show came on, I had to watch. OK I could happily beat the producers to death (with a crystal club recharged in a copper pyramid under a full moon ) for the terrible way the show is put together, and Gary Drayton (the metal detector tit) for saying 'Templar Baby' every F****** episode.

they also seem to flit about the place doing a little bit here, a little bit there without any overall plan as if they don't want to find out there is/isn't any colossal amount of treasure. Almost like they are keeping the show going for as long as possible. It could just be shite editing though.
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
WHAT?

You mean that may not be true? But, but, they used to advertise these things in magazines and on the telly.


if pyramids prevent decay and promote calm, why are the zombie Pharos so angry all the time? and a bit decayed?
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
It worked back then with quality pyramids, but these new fangled cheap disposable Hong Kong plastic copper pyramids are rubbish


 
Surprised to find a history documentary that doesn't treat the viewer as an absolute dribbling mong (and its American made as well). The Vietnam War - on PBS America in 10 parts - its very good.
A very good series, I've seen it more than once. It has Ken Burns' lefty slant but very watchable. He did another excellent one about The Civil War.
Can't remember the show, but it was a car repo show that I happened across for about five minutes while changing channels. Some bloke was repossessing a car in the carpark of a fencing club, while the owner was inside. It just so happened that the owner and two of his friends walked out to the carpark, still in full fencing gear, and started threatening the guys taking the car with double handed broadswords.

I just hung my head and changed the channel.
Was it Lizard Lick Towing?
 

KnightsofRowallan

LE
Book Reviewer
All of this is excellent. The thing that really really puts the top hat on it is the post advert recap or when they are moving between different sites/storylines etc and spend 2 mins telling you what you saw 5 mins ago.
FFS, I'n not a chuffing goldfish!
Is maddening that a lot of TV seems to be made by idiots for idiots, or smartarses for people they think are idiots.

Its like the news; just give me the facts - I can form my own opinion.

Although if you want a real laugh - Paranormal House Inspectors. I thought it was a spoof.
Basically person says house is haunted and full of spooky going-ons
Paranormal investigator walks around giving it the full Derek Acorah.
Then a building inspector walks around pointing out all the rational explanations, i.e. door not hung straight, blocked drain, etc.
But they way they try to build up the "tension" is basically TV clickbait. Welcome to rock bottom.
 
Anything involving Bridezillas, wedding dresses, and screechers flogging them.

In fact the whole fukcing E! channel and it's b@stard offsprings on Sky.
 

Sixty

ADC
Moderator
Book Reviewer
Levison Wood does some pretty good 'reality' style stuff. It's obviously filmed on hand-held cams or by drone and it's usually just him and a local guide. His stroll through the Caucasus* was genuinely really interesting - there's no real peril as such, it's just him meeting the locals, drinking, and exploring the stunning scenery.

*From Russia to Iran: Crossing Wild Frontiers.
 

sirbhp

LE
Book Reviewer
see all that shite youre raging again, well defund the BBC and see how much worse it gets .
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
see all that shite youre raging again, well defund the BBC and see how much worse it gets .
This would be the same BBC that also spits out a load of bollocks TV in the shape anthing with Strictly/Dancing/Ice in the title, as well as Children in Desperate Need of a new X Box/Sports Celebrity Tax Relief and last but not least, the dross that styles itself as BBC 3, reality TV central!
 

TamH70

MIA
This would be the same BBC that also spits out a load of bollocks TV in the shape anthing with Strictly/Dancing/Ice in the title, as well as Children in Desperate Need of a new X Box/Sports Celebrity Tax Relief and last but not least, the dross that styles itself as BBC 3, reality TV central!

And the ******* are killing off BBC4 in favour of a channel that so few yoots watched the last time it was broadcast that they cancelled it. ******* isn't the word, though. It isn't quite strong enough.
 
Any competitive manufacturing show.. f’rinstance: the recent jewellery making series - some genuinely talented folks demonstrating remarkable skills and techniques with a vacuous Z-list talking head yapping away throughout trying to be funny. I was constantly hoping for a contestant to waft a gas torch over her and set her alight.
Most often the ‘hosts’ are camper than a row of pink tents and constantly dropping in double entendres that would get a hetero banned for life…
 
I am amazed Marty doesn't kill himself about 5 times each episode, his excavator driving must have the H&S officer on that show on a permanent valium drip.
that's a recommendation then! There was a Building Alaska (or something) one where the Granpaw managed to smack his son in the head with a carefree sideways swipe of a (full size!) excavator
 
At least the antique auction shows mostly show the truth - “Congratulations, you made less of a loss than the other team”

One of our favourites is when they buy suitcases and sell at a loss.
In non Covid times one of my hobbies is buying at auctions, and I get a few things for a friends shop. She likes ‘interesting’ suitcases but gets annoyed when people buy them from her as it ruins her vintage displays.
On bargain hunt auction type shows they buy at ‘antique’ retail prices then sell at a loss even though they sometimes sell for more then we buy at auction, or they sell one for the price we buy a bundle
One of those fix-it shows made a chest of drawers out of half a dozen suitcases stacked up & cut. Clever
 

Awol

LE
I've watched the curse of Oak Island for one reason.

When I was a kid, the school library had a series of magazines on mysteries/ghosts/pyramid power etc. One of the articles was about an island with a mysterious shaft known as 'the money pit'. While it was easy to snigger at those believing that a pyramid of copper wires would keep a razor sharp or that leaving a crystal out at in moonlight would recharge its mystical powers, this was something that was weird, real and unexplained.
I thought little of it until it was the basis for an episode of 'Bones' then forgot about it again.

when the show came on, I had to watch. OK I could happily beat the producers to death (with a crystal club recharged in a copper pyramid under a full moon ) for the terrible way the show is put together, and Gary Drayton (the metal detector tit) for saying 'Templar Baby' every F****** episode.

they also seem to flit about the place doing a little bit here, a little bit there without any overall plan as if they don't want to find out there is/isn't any colossal amount of treasure. Almost like they are keeping the show going for as long as possible. It could just be shite editing though.
‘Gary Drayton, metal detection expert’.

Firstly, anyone who describes himself as an expert, isn’t. Real experts are, by definition, intelligent, and wouldn’t be that crass.

Secondly, that accent. It’s obviously designed to fascinate the Yanks, but we all know that it’s fake.

Thirdly, fourthly and almost certainly fifthly, he’s a twât. We may not know exactly why, but we know that he is.
 
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Awol

LE
Josh Gates in "expedition unknown" is brilliantly rubbish. He often gives the camera a weird look when he knows we will all be sniggering..

Show starts with Josh in his clearly fake Victorian gentlemen explorers study..

He goes off somewhere with a crew large enough to remake Ben Hur, always buys a hat locally.

Investigates local mystery (big foot, aliens etc) and interviews local eyewitnesses. One of them must always look, and sound, like they are on day release. Bonus points if he/she has an IQ measurable in short planks.

There is usually an excuse to go diving and he "finds" something vague and pointless.

At the end it's still a mystery
No, I like Josh. He’s amenable and yes, it’s bollocks, but he knows and we know, that it’s bollocks.

It’s unusually honest, but still with a light dusting of vague facts.
 
Car SOS. The big idiot and the one in the charity shop dustbin clothes.

Fix a total basket case to concours within 2-3 weeks when many of the parts are made from unobtanium.

Don't get me wrong, I mostly like the finished product, but could do without all be BS that goes with it, especially the big one blagging a couple of grands worth of gear / work out of a supplier.

Car SOS is completely gen.

I know this.

The amount of cars they go and see before filming starts & turn down for being beyond help is vast. Sometimes there’s a really worthy recipient, but the motor is just too far gone.

Some of Tim Shaws input however...
 
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