Contents and standard of horror bags...

#21
RTC, sandwiches made with mouldy bread and sausage rolls past their use by date. Lived on panda pop and kit kats as the apples were too bruised to eat.
 
#22
Get rid of Panda pop/Virgin cola and the military dentists will be out of work! It's a conspiracy to keep military dentistry :)
 
#23
Had some about a year ago in JHQ that had Penguins (The biscuit variety that is) and Um-bongo in. Can you still buy either of them in the shops?!
Worst ones ive had where at Stanta in 98 when on exercise with the RIR home defence. They consisted of a Panda cola, bourbons, a sh*tty apple and quite a large block of cheese, no bread or crackers or whatever, just a block of f*cking cheese!
 

ugly

LE
Moderator
#24
Still better than central feeding from a 10 man pack, the cqms cant be arsed to get any bread in so lunch is bicuits AB, a piece of cheese possessed and spread over it with a red jam like goo! Not forgetting the boiled sweets all 3 each. Still better than scabby jack who must have flogged all the chocs and sweets as all we had every day was a mug of mulligatawny soup and 1 piece of wet bread. The bread was wet regardless of the weather!
 
#25
Bravo_Bravo said:
At an RTC I've visited - Sausage roll ( meat, non-specific - yeuch )...
The last time I was at Malta Barracks the doughnut mechanics served up fresh handmade sausage rolls which were the mutts clockweights

...no, that came out all wrong. :omfg: :puker:
 
#26
shouted at by farmer in dartmoor for feeding a pony after it mugged me for my pastie not that I was planning to eat it mind you, was just looking at it with a feeling of gloom :(
 
#28
Why are HQ Horror Bags always better?
 
#29
call_me_jack said:
I love the way the army spend money shipping this sh1t all over the world for us. Do they think we like it? or is it to stop us getting homesick?
Was in Al Amarah a couple of summers ago and was given a horror sack.
Had all the usual stuff cheap KP crisps, bourbon biscuits and the D shaped pasty. And just so we didn't feel home sick even though it was 56 degrees out side, the pasty was still frozen!
 
#30
I have been deeply traumatised by this thread. It has brought back memories of sandwiches that looked and tasted like Aladins Slippers. Those shitty plastic cup drink things (sans straw) that were utterly minging and tasted of beetroot. The horse trading that saw me filling up on Highland Shorties.

Traumatised
 
#31
monkey_tech said:
call_me_jack said:
I love the way the army spend money shipping this sh1t all over the world for us. Do they think we like it? or is it to stop us getting homesick?
Was in Al Amarah a couple of summers ago and was given a horror sack.
Had all the usual stuff cheap KP crisps, bourbon biscuits and the D shaped pasty. And just so we didn't feel home sick even though it was 56 degrees out side, the pasty was still frozen!
KP Crisps? Bloody hell, luxury. It's Champion Crisps nowadays, in my day, it was Bensons. I still have flashbacks of PandaPop, frozen Sausage Rolls, bruised apples (if lucky, a brown banana), Cherry Cake, and a Blue Riband. Never forget the Blue Riband.

The Guardbox used to always have cheese possessed with tomato on soggy bread, or tuna (ewww), or tinned ham with yellow lettuce, nastiest cheapest coffee, why oh why.... (did it all taste so good at 0330hrs)
 
#32
The sausage rolls contain so many E-numbers that eating one lowers your IQ by at least 50 points. When the bomb finally drops all that will be left is cockroaches and Wright's sausage rolls.
 
#33
clanky said:
The sausage rolls contain so many E-numbers that eating one lowers your IQ by at least 50 points. When the bomb finally drops all that will be left is cockroaches and Wright's sausage rolls.
Don't forget the Panda Pop fortified nuke proof factory..
 
#34
the_matelot said:
Don't forget the Panda Pop fortified nuke proof factory..
Ah Panda Pops, Blandfords second best output, after fat bearded women.
 
#35
We once got given those little drink cartons withthe straw....Problem was ,some wa*ker had nicked all the straws! (probably cutbacks)
 
#36
I think that if Joe Public had the dubious honour of eating the wretched sh*te then things could change. Failing that, get the fcuking slops to show some imagination and defrost the sodding crap before it gets chucked in the bag.
 
#37
A while back we were obviously the lot chosen for disposal of the "fruitcake". This high reaching decision was obviously determined not for our health and well being - as one would hope - but because the fruitcakes were a minimum of one year after their best before date; some were showing the signs of old age.

Horror bags are truely hateful; "d-shaped pasties" still half frozen and an added water + pigsh*t content of ~85%. Those will forever bring me out in a cold sweat at the merest thought.

Why could we not live forever off range stew with 2-4 bits of white (plastic?) bread, grasped with oily/cammed/carbon hands and washed down with a delightful half frozen doughnut and "toffee".

Cookhouse at Otterburn is surely the highlight of rangestew cuisine; unwashed norgies added to the delight found in every meal (seriously, I could eat their range stew for the rest of my life, but I'll pass on the tea/coffee/toffee and brew my own).

I'm sure the quality of food in horror bags is not only lower than animal food; but also dangerous (panda pop MUST be carcinogenic)
 
#38
Dale the snail said:
monkey_tech said:
call_me_jack said:
I love the way the army spend money shipping this sh1t all over the world for us. Do they think we like it? or is it to stop us getting homesick?
Was in Al Amarah a couple of summers ago and was given a horror sack.
Had all the usual stuff cheap KP crisps, bourbon biscuits and the D shaped pasty. And just so we didn't feel home sick even though it was 56 degrees out side, the pasty was still frozen!
KP Crisps? Bloody hell, luxury. It's Champion Crisps nowadays, in my day, it was Bensons. I still have flashbacks of PandaPop, frozen Sausage Rolls, bruised apples (if lucky, a brown banana), Cherry Cake, and a Blue Riband. Never forget the Blue Riband.

The Guardbox used to always have cheese possessed with tomato on soggy bread, or tuna (ewww), or tinned ham with yellow lettuce, nastiest cheapest coffee, why oh why.... (did it all taste so good at 0330hrs)
Champion crisps are made by Tayto!
http://www.championcrisps.com
We got them last year in our horror bags once then we got some cheapo greasy excuse for a crisp!!!
They made excellent firelighters while on Excercise cause they contained that much fat!! Even ol mongo Sarah J Chubb doesnt have that much fat in her!! (or so Flashy told me....)
 
#39
ref my last: there used to be the crewing gum without the 'crackable' outside, my mate discribed it as "a mixture of soap and fear"

Can't argue, most fear came from the horror boxes, after that, the enemy would be easy.
 

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