Contact list trauma.

Discussion in 'Now That's What I Call NAAFI Bar' started by Mighty_doh_nut, Jun 16, 2009.

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  1. Chaps, allow me to offer some free advice, advice that may save you from levels of embarrasment that I've just endured.

    Being bored, I was sat texting a mate. we were trying to outgay each other, seeing who would buckle first. Texts along the lines of 'I'm going to tie you to a chair and eat lard from your p1ss slit before force feeding you lucosade and sugar puffs and fingering your apple until you spray me with your natural champagne.... That sort of stuff.

    I'm not as good as he is at it, and puts enough in a text to make me think 'Hold on, he might really want to 'Cuddle up to me and spoon me so I can feel his growing bulb spread my buttpetal'

    This has been going on for a couple of days, then today I found myself with a surprise erection, not at the thought of man on man, but something entirely different....... I did the sensible thing, took a picture of it with my phone and sent it........... Only I sent it to a totally different contact with the same first name in my address book.

    Bad enough that I'd sent that, the accompanying text read ' I want you to bite into this then lets masterbate each other until we climax over each others balls'

    I've not had a text back from David, I suspect I won't

    David is a proper grown up, hence David & not Dave and dread to imagine what he now thinks of the chap he has had a relatively sensible and fruitful business relationship with for three years.

    Sort your contacts out, possibly place 'don't send c0ck pics' next to each name that its inappropriate to do so.

    I've done it before, but got away with it, but that was to a scutter. This time its different and cringe at the repercussions.
  2. On the bright side, he might send you a picture back, and thank you for making the first move.
  3. at least you didn't send him this Sugar Puff 8O they are just wrong
  4. Agreed with the above, this could blossom your business relationship even further.
  5. My bold. I guess you can kiss that bye-bye, then.
  6. With any luck David hasn't ignored your text, he's merely producing his own portfolio of images for you to spray hot seed over. As we speak he could be manouevering yet another digit toward his prostate, writhing in anticipation of the explosion of which his hungry mouth craves.

    All the while captured in glorious close-up on HD digital format giving crystal clear images of butt-musk encrusted anal hair, straining blood filled veins and strings of pearlescent semen caught in mid-air as it makes the beautiful journry from love orbs to gaping throat.

    You lucky, lucky peddlar of filth.
  7. I suppose we could sell the movie for H4H? :D
  8. Alsacien

    Alsacien LE Moderator

    It was'nt Rt Revd David Wilkes OBE, QHC Chaplain-General, HM Land Forces was it :?
  9. I want gay text sex with you, you are better than dave and that send a surge of blood to the very tip of my unsheathed and action ready sticky wet combat pipe
  10. I think you have been working to hard ,You need a holiday MDN
  11. Could have been worse, instead of sending it to David you could have sent it to the next one up on your list, Dad.
  12. The urge to eat my own undigested tomato skins and sweetcorn kernels from your colon-mucus encrusted glans is currently overpowering. I want you to treat my prostate as if it were made of plasticine. If only I could make like a python and dislocate my own jaw to allow your swingers as well as glans entry to my slut-like throat.
  13. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    I've got a little bit of sick in my mouth now.
  14. I've self-fellated myself at the thought so I have the remains of something different in my mouth.
  15. I hook open my pre-prepared anus with bum hooks in anticipation of a gnarly finger then your fellated and ready to explode pleasure staff.

    I hope you are as endowed as my whorish imagination dares wander and that you will leave me face down, with a crevice full of salty pleasure

    You could only heighten and further arouse me by remaining hard and letting fly a second load on my sweating brow, so as I lay there, good and fcuked your seed filters down my face and into my hungry mouth.

    Leave five pounds on the bedside locker as you leave, I want to feel like a cheap, worthless cumcatching whore