Consider trying Somali pirates, MPs urge

Discussion in 'Current Affairs, News and Analysis' started by Screw_The_Nut, Jan 5, 2012.

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  1. Has parliament TOTALLY lost the effing plot? You decide...

    Consider trying Somali pirates, MPs urge | Reuters

    "(Reuters) - The British government should consider bringing Somali pirates to Britain for trial, MPs said on Thursday, accusing the government of not doing enough to tackle a problem that cost $135 million (86 million pounds) in ransoms last year alone.

    Parliament's Foreign Affairs Committee also called on the government -- which recently announced it will permit British merchant ships sailing off Somalia to carry armed guards -- to state clearly when these guards may legally open fire."

    So they want to bring the pirates into Britain and try them at a British court? So a problem which currently costs £86 million a year, will cost £500 million in legal fees next year?

    Plus, there will be a hell of a lot more piracy about, it beats all that travelling to europe off your own back, eh?
  2. And the rest. Because they won't get deported after release from jail (we don't deport to Somalia) so they will be here for life.
  3. You can just hear the Judge "Long Shlong Silver, you have been brought before this court accused of Piracy, against Her majesties shipping upon the high seas... how do you plead ?"

    "guilty your honour, along with my wife, children, brothers, sisters, cousins extended family etc. please lock us up for a few years in what by our standards is a civilised place and feed and clothe us all, before releasing us to disappear in one of your large metropolises"
  4. And what will we charge them with?
  5. They'd think they'd died and gone to heaven.
  6. Or the RN could just send them to apply for direct admission there on presumed hostile intent.
    • Like Like x 1
  7. One presumes Matrix Chambers star legal mind is short of money again?
  8. Oh yeah, that'll work.

    This bunch of self-righteous hand-wringers - how many have an interest in the application of human rights legislation, and the associated feeding-frenzy that would result, I wonder?
  9. As it stands I believe the RN hands over any suspects to the Kenyans to deal with. So, whats wrong with that system?

    The cheaper option would be to issue every RN vessel in the area with 1x Plank Wooden and some rope.
  10. Oh, sorry, for one wonderful moment I quite forgot that I was living in a nation that would make Julian Clary look macho by comparison.
  11. I believe Gentlmen, the solution is below. It's easy and requires a lot less legaslative changes, (and scummy Human rights lawyers trousering £millions)

  12. The mini-gun is shit.
  13. I think they should just arm every British ship with a few of these...

    Quite a simple concept. If any marigold wearing Somali pirate types come anywhere near the ship, the crew take it in turns to brass up the ******* and win a prize for whoever sinks the most pirate boats in one journey! :0)
    Why the **** would we want to waste time, effort and money transporting them to this country, so we can spend even more money on a trial, prison fees and then the whole re-integration into our society where they would be a further burden on the taxpayer?!
    And you can guaranty the crime figures would go up, with gangs of Somali's fresh out of prison and looking to do something other than piracy. It's not like they'd be the most moralistic of people is it?!?... ;0)

    Sent from my iPhone using ARRSE
  14. Even as an area-weapon? Can it punch lots of holes in plywood?
  15. Cold_Collation

    Cold_Collation LE Book Reviewer

    It's funny - I don't see anyone sueing the Russians for having turned a pirate mothership into a collander... and I gather that the pirates now generally avoid ships with a Russian flag.

    [Blink] I have a solution...