A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be very liberal, and among other left wing ideals, was very much in favour of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth. She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch conservative, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a left wing professor (arent they all), she felt that her father had for years harboured an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his. One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her left wing professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school. Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 60% average, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying. Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing?" She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies and she barely has a 40% average. College for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over." Her wise father asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct 10% off your average and give it to your friend who only has 40%. That way you will both have 50% and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution." The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, "That's a crazy idea, how would that be fair! I've worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!" The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, "Welcome to the conservative side of the fence." If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, here are some revealing truths! If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one. If a left winger doesn't like guns, he wants all guns banned. If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat. If a leftie is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone. If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. A left winger wonders who is going to take care of him. If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels. Left wingers demands that those they don't like, be shut down. If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church. A left wing non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it. A left winger demands that the rest of us pay for his. If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh. A left winger will delete it because he's "offended."