I have just read the posts of best / worst Kitchen... Thought you might like to cross the hotplate... Some of my memories as an Army Chef... 2 Field Workshop REME, Moody Brook 83/84 Tar had been used to seal the roof by RE. REME Cpl with ony a few strands of hair left suffered a direct hit of melted tar, removing what he had left - that of course was the chef's fault! Had to put poison down in the kitchen every night for the rats, they sent us some blue stuff that was kracking, didn't see another rat - RE who came to sort out the horrible sewer smell - OUCH!! 9/12th Lancers in Wolfenbuttel 84/86 watching that saturday brunch was hillarius, we used to have sweepstakes to see if various individuals would manage one mouthful they were that pi''ed! 9/12th Officers Mess, I asked the duty waiter to get me 3 btles of Port for as Victorian Port Wine Jelly... Officers loved it, Mess Manager flipped as waiter had given me 20yr old LBV's... Good / v expensive!! Watching 2 ACC Sgts who thought they were gods gift screw up an all in stew that was to feed the whole regiment at the Railway sidings (only meal in 18 hrs) when opened it was all off and bubbling.... Master Chef was not happy! One of same Sgts trying to stretch rations not knowing the difference between Maize and Sweetcorn - he made us cook it for 3 days.... Still like eating rocks... Could have sold the couple of gas bottles we used trying to cook it to by a couple of boxes of inned / frozen... 26 Engr Regt, Iserlohn 86/89 getting that pissed and going straight into work to do breakfast for an extra 400 TA as well as 250 normal. TA CO came looking for the chef to complement him - they showed him me in the staff room toilet praying to the great white god!! 26 Officers Mess tradition was that if duty officer was only person dining that they can order what they like - she ordered Crepe Suzette... I served it myself Flambe - you are supposed to let the flame burn out before starting to eat it! At least it got rid of her moustache! Best memory racing around BAOR in the back of a Bedford full of Orange Handbags, discovering how many places on an SMG can open a beer bottle. Worst - listening to waking squaddies whinging about how cold it was on EX and how lucky the chefs are working in a hot tent, not thinking that you had done the same 3 hours earlier to get their breakfast ready... Re Cockroaches - the camps budgets pay for extermination - do you think that chefs like the the horrible things!! Portion Control - if everyone ate what they took it would save so much that everyone could have what they want - don't try and tell me that the swill bins were full cause of the quality (though admittedly K1 at ST OMER ranks easily as my worst!)... Come on then you chefs (RLC need not apply) lets let em have it!