Confessions for our Journalist friends!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Zero_Over, Jul 9, 2011.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. It cannot have gone unnoticed that we've had a rather nice influx of journalists on here lately, both overtly and covertly, digging around for lovely stories.

    I thought I'd do our journalist friends a favour and allow them to just visit this one thread for all the secret info, confessions of war crimes and true stories of our brutal & licentious soldiery.

    Here's my crime. Once, I claimed £3.90 for a meal even though I actually only had a £1 bag of chips. Oh, and we used to all park on double yellow lines a lot.

    I feel better. Any journalists wanting to quote me, my name's K*v H*gh*s.
  2. Fucks sakes Trigger. They had that one from your phone 6 months ago.

    Kav Haghis?
  3. I once pushed a bunch of dwarves into a burning building and then laughed, LAUGHED I tells you. I then drove over some puppies.

    For I to am K*v H*gh*s.
  4. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Would you people stop trying to pretend you are K*v H***es.

    Signed K H***es
    • Like Like x 2
  5. Thieving kids.

    Whippy vehicle antennas.

    Nuff said...sorry!
  6. You're not sorry though are you!
  7. I once wrote off an MOD vehicle and put an off duty policeman in hospital as a result of reckless driving on my part.

    Got away with it due to RMP incompetence, which I'm very grateful for.

    I am not K*v H*gh*s, but I know where he is.

    • Like Like x 1
  8. Ahem...

    "It is inconcievable that I would have been involved in such activities, or would have condoned them in any form..."

    As a gesture of remorse for any ficticious events that might have happened, I'm off to shut myself down as a going concern tomorrow before re-launching on Monday as an entirely new person!
    • Like Like x 2
  9. Are you K*v "The Kiddie Whipper" H*g*e*?

    My Confession and it s a terrible one to make. I once couldn't be arsed to darn a hole in my Jersey HW so I deliberately shrank it and did an exchange. I'm sorry.

    I also shot at a few people but I'm sure they all deserved it.

    H*ghie Gre*n.
    • Like Like x 1
  10. I once punched an old woman and stole her blouse
    • Like Like x 1
  11. No, K*v was the investigating officer.

    I brought in pressure from the chain of command to make him wind his filthy monkey neck in.
  12. Hi journos,i once went through me neighbours knicker me for details you sad cunts.

    Signed:k*v h**hes.
  13. Zen


    Pah! Thats nothing. I once punched an old woman and wanked over her piss stained knickers.
    While fucking her pussy!
  14. Once drew an arrow on the side of this truck pointing out the obvious.


    Your's Ke* Hugh*s
    • Like Like x 4
  15. I hope it was you who killed her, it's wrong that you benefited from another's handywork. 5A and Hector Chavez no doubt were in like a pair of necrophiliac Flints after you'd unleashed your Cream of Sum yung guy.