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A man goes to confession.
"Forgive me ,Father, for I have sinned. My girlfreind and I were snogging and we got a little carried away."
"How carried away, my son? Did you actually sleep together?"
"No, Father, but I did rub myself right up against her."
"Oh my son, that's just the same as putting the thing in. For your penance you must say ten Hail Marys and put £50 in the poor box."
The man sits in the church to say his Hail Marys and the priest sees him pause briefly by the poor box on the way out but pocket his money again.
The priest dashes after him. "My son, you didn't complete your penance!"
The man turned and said, "I rubbed the money on the box, that's as good as putting it in!"

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