Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Negligent-Discharge, Aug 20, 2009.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Negligent-Discharge

    Negligent-Discharge LE Book Reviewer

    We've all enjoyed the "Who we'd like to slot ot maim" thread recently... How about fessing up to a few things?

    !) Nicking Sgt. N.O.'s Lynx deoderant and his shaving gel whilst he was in the ablutions having a shower.
    2) Blaming a nightime ND on 2nd Lt. I.K.
    3) Chucking a bucket of cold water over the bogs while XXXXX was having a dump.
    4) Drinking someone else's Pint in the Mess.
    5) Nicking that huge tin of corned beef when on Sentry at Wretham.
    6) Lying to RAF Sgt. XX to get into her knickers
    7)... and there's more I'm sure.
  2. You are a veritable villain are you not?

    Oh how the long winter nights must fly by as you regale the members of the mess with your naughty tales.
  3. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    I have a pair of dead Eastern European hookers buried under my patio.
  4. I remember not getting shot in NI.
  5. Was that just after you didn't get a letter with your name not in it? :D
  6. Exactly. :lol:
  7. Accidentally burning down a derelict house in Cherbourg.

    Doing unspeakable things in Bangkok with mere waifs under the pretence of the classic 'just off to find an english paper love' line.

    Sticking a power drill and 4 levels in a wheelie bin my oppo was buying at B and Q whilst we were doing up his new place.

    Filling a lads mobile phone shoulder holster with dogsh*t then ringing him whilst watching him walk to his car.
  8. And I must also confess to having never gripped a Walt.
  9. Theres a drought on at the minute, they are in their caves sewing frantically and draining e bay dry of medals, hibernation finishes the week before remembrance.
  10. This I would have love to have seen.

    Few of my own:
    1) Shagging one of my best mates ex's..... She was a model, who would blame me.
    2) Farting in my mates brothers mouth as he slept.
    3) Putting the gas in my mates lighter on full so that he singed his eyebrows.
  11. Me too! That's just spooky...
  12. I bet you never got a letter with your name in it either :D
  13. Glad it just wasn't me then.
  14. I did but the postman generally brought mine.
  15. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Spooky indeed. I can remember not being there when you didn't get shot and never got the letter.