Conduct After Capture

In the event of my capture I would like to do the following:

  • Have my throat cut by Islamic extremists

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Get knee-capped and neck-shot by Irish Republicans

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Have the soles of my feet beaten by Saudi religious police

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Have my willy laughed at by National Guard red-necks

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Get a slapping and a golden shower from the Queen's Last Resort

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0
#1
With so much attention being paid to the treatment of prisoners and in order to uphold everyone's human right to be abused in the way that they choose, it has been decided that all personnel should carry a card indicating their wishes in the event of capture. Please use the polling buttons to choose your prefered treatment and a personalised card will be sent to you with your next pay rise.
 

Mr Happy

LE
Moderator
#2
Whilst I'm not suprised that most people have taken the USNG laughing monkey option I'm interested in knowing why it is that one person has lumped for the QLR Golden Shower, was it a patriotic decision MSR or do you in fact like to lap at the waters of another man???
 
#3
Shouldn't that read 'Patriotic decision MRS?

msr
 
#4
A conduct after capture card expressing you 'torture wish list' is certainly a cheeper option than all that expensive training running around the hills of Brecon. :D

You should stick that in as a GEMS. :wink:

No doubt the trewasury will love it. :?
 
#5
Give me half-an-hour to knock up a powerpoint presentation rather than inflict any sort of physical pain :twisted:

Alternatively, stick me on TV and I'll happily denounce the Great Satan Bliar :twisted:
 
#6
Going off conversation slightly, there was an RAF aircrew blokey on BBC Radio Two this lunch time talking about (in his words) an exercise he was once on called 'escape and evasion'. The jist of the conversation was based around the so called violence bred into the British Army, which he witnessed first hand on the exercise because the aircrew were subjected to slaps, punches, shouted at, stress positions, etc from the nasty Army lads. He was lost at their mentality!! He surprised me because I can only imagine how he'd be treated if he came down, survived and was captured in Iraq.
 
E

error_unknown

Guest
#7
According to the papers today - the female Septic doing the pointing etc (a reservist-not that that is important in itself), lives in a trailer and is up the duff by one of the other guards who is under investigation. one of uncle Sam's finest. Her photo has-not unsurprisingly- been removed from the Wall of Honour at the local Woolco where she worked.
 
#8
That is a button I could not be arrsed to include which goes something like: "Submit to my enemy and do a 'John Nicholl' i.e. blub on television".
 
#10
That is a button I could not be arrsed to include which goes something like: "Submit to my enemy and do a 'John Nicholl' i.e. blub on television".
You utter stroker. First name 'Big', Second name 'Timer.'
 
#11
I think John Nichol would have been delighted if all his captors had done was piss on him.

The fact that they carried out all sorts of nastiness does not vindicate anyone slapping someone around. Nor indeed does it vindicate third rate editors of fourth rate scandal sheets publishing made up photos to boost flagging sales.

In the good old days of the cold war a friend made up a chit with several useful Russian phrases in case of capture.

Here is my marked map, kindly show me to the officers mess.

I'll tell you everything you want to know as long as you don't hurt me

etc
 
#12
I thought it was a class thread till the john nicholl post, bit tongue in cheek and british sarcasm the way its meant to be. Then the john nicholl post, soured it - i'd blub if i'd been through that :cry:
 
#13
I voted for this "Have my willy laughed at by National Guard red-necks" but shouldn't it read "Have National Guard red-necks laughed at by Willy"

Simon
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#14
Who the hell voted for having their feet beaten ?

Either we have some sort of reverse foot fetishist amongst us or they have no idea about what's involved.

But crack on mucker, it must crank your handle......




weirdo


:wink:
 
#15
FNU SNU, let us know when you went through what the Nichols went through? Judging by your 'handle', you’ve been no further than Canterbury. Chod.

Easy to criticise when sat in front of a puter or in Kent. But on the ground, resorting to basic human instincts is probably a different matter. Maybe that’s why the rules changed? You'll know what I mean. Probably, but I doubt it.

Knowing what I know, I would give as much as would save me muckers and my finger nails.

Hey, if I was pissed on, I would ask they link it to my website and at least make a bit of dosh out of it! As long as they included a Spaniel, a Dwarf and an amputee.
 
#16
The Lord Flasheart said:
FNU SNU, let us know when you went through what the Nichols went through? Judging by your 'handle', you’ve been no further than Canterbury. Chod.

Easy to criticise when sat in front of a puter or in Kent. But on the ground, resorting to basic human instincts is probably a different matter. Maybe that’s why the rules changed? You'll know what I mean. Probably, but I doubt it.

Knowing what I know, I would give as much as would save me muckers and my finger nails.

Hey, if I was pissed on, I would ask they link it to my website and at least make a bit of dosh out of it! As long as they included a Spaniel, a Dwarf and an amputee.
Vast numbers of people round the world are ringing up the MOD/PENTAGON asking how to surrender if Lynndie England and Janis Karpinski will be available to deal with their incarceration :p
 
#17
FNU SNU also shows his / her ignorance by failing to include:

"ask to speak to an umpire" as a polling option.
 
#19
All criticism accepted. The Nichol jibe was a cheap shot but I just get a bit fed up, now that he is a 'defence pundit', of seing him on television gobbing off about the ground war without qualification.

That aside the thread was intended to have a serious point. We have rules, procedures and standards and are given a hard time over any failures. Our enemies have none.
 

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