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Condoms

#1
After the violent demise of Mrs DD in a hail of gunfire from my mother and hers and after a decent period of mourning, I am back in the dating scene.

A few minutes ago I called an escort service and asked for a blue eyed blonde to come jerk me off and hopefully swallow my man cream. In the meantime until she gets here, I have been pondering some of life's persistent questions.

Should I wear a condom for a blow job or not?

Me mate says wearing one is no different from sucking on a lollipop without taking the wrapper off or trying to wash your feet without taking off your shoes.

I really am conflicted. Please help.
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#3
Wear one but cut the end off* for better sensation.**









* The end of the rubber.

** Cut the end off before you put it on, else the sensations are different.
 
#5
Devil_Dog said:
After the violent demise of Mrs DD in a hail of gunfire from my mother and hers and after a decent period of mourning, I am back in the dating scene.

A few minutes ago I called an escort service and asked for a blue eyed blonde to come jerk me off and hopefully swallow my man cream. In the meantime until she gets here, I have been pondering some of life's persistent questions.

Should I wear a condom for a blow job or not?

Me mate says wearing one is no different from sucking on a lollipop without taking the wrapper off or trying to wash your feet without taking off your shoes.

I really am conflicted. Please help.
:lol: SO YOUR MATE DOES IT? :lol:
 
#7
Said escort chick just arrived. After a brief harried conversation, she indicated she doesn't give a f.uck where I want to put it.

She is open to the idea of an arrsehole extravaganza. Decisions, decisions!!

What to do?

On one hand I want to stick it in her. On the other hand, me religion prevents me from doing it to another guy (she just had a sex change these last three weeks.)

What I my going to do? What I am going to do???!!!
 
#8
Devil_Dog said:
... (she just had a sex change these last three weeks.) ...
It's your own fault. You should have asked for a blue eyed blond WOMAN. (btw - aint no such thing as a sex change - what you've got is a man in a dress - still, never mind, don't ask don't tell and all that).


Devil_Dog said:
What I my going to do? What I am going to do???!!!
Above all, wear a condom. You've got a 1 in 4000 chance of catching AIDS from a bareback bj with a diseased harlot. For those of us who are retired and get free Viagra on the British National Health Service, 4000 blowjobs only takes about 6 weeks.

Good job we get free condoms too, although the reusable goat entrails condom the ship's barber surgeon issued to me on joining the Navy is still going strong (it's also handy for stopping the sausages bursting if you're having a barbecue).

Remember to read the instructions carefully before putting on the condom or you could end up like this poor b@stard, who recently died of the worst case of genital warts ever seen at Brighton VD clinic:-

 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#14
Devil_Dog said:
After the violent demise of Mrs DD in a hail of gunfire from my mother and hers and after a decent period of mourning, I am back in the dating scene.

A few minutes ago I called an escort service and asked for a blue eyed blonde to come jerk me off and hopefully swallow my man cream. In the meantime until she gets here, I have been pondering some of life's persistent questions.

Should I wear a condom for a blow job or not?

Me mate says wearing one is no different from sucking on a lollipop without taking the wrapper off or trying to wash your feet without taking off your shoes.


I really am conflicted. Please help.
Are you giving or receiving?
 
#15
B_AND_T said:
Devil_Dog said:
After the violent demise of Mrs DD in a hail of gunfire from my mother and hers and after a decent period of mourning, I am back in the dating scene.

A few minutes ago I called an escort service and asked for a blue eyed blonde to come jerk me off and hopefully swallow my man cream. In the meantime until she gets here, I have been pondering some of life's persistent questions.

Should I wear a condom for a blow job or not?

Me mate says wearing one is no different from sucking on a lollipop without taking the wrapper off or trying to wash your feet without taking off your shoes.


I really am conflicted. Please help.
Are you giving or receiving?
Mostly receiving.
 

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