That old rake (alleged*) Mike Hancock, MP for Portsmouth, employed a Russian beauty (alleged) as an assistant some time ago. Apart from causing chaos by setting off fire alarms at the House of Commons - she has a penchant for scented candles - her ex-commie father has some dubious links with Russian State Security. After being closely observed by the box watchers, Ms Katia Zatuliveter, 25, was arrested on the orders of MI5 over espionage claims. It looks like she will be on the next Aeroflop home. There are plenty of British Oxbridge students who would give their right nut/tit for the chance of a role as a Parliamentary assistant so why did Hancock employ a Russian national? *He'll be up in court next year for trying it on with one of his constituents.