Computers v Cars

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by greysuit, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. At a recent expo, Bill Gates, comparing the computer industry with the auto industry, said
    “If General Motors had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon!”

    General Motors issued this response: -
    If we had developed technology akin to Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics: -

    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash frequently.
    2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road you would have to buy a new car.
    3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all the windows, shut off the car, restart it and reopen the windows before you could continue and inexplicably you would simply accept this.
    4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to start, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
    5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive – but would run on only 5 percent of the roads.
    6. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would all be replace by a single “This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation” warning light.
    7. The airbag system would ask “Are you sure?” before deploying.
    8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
    9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
    10. You would have to press the Start button to turn the engine off.