Competition: Armadillo Merino socks

MrBane

LE
Moderator
Kit Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#1
View the review of the Armadillo Merino socks here to see how they fared. I also forgot to mention... COMPETITION! WOO!

You can win a random pair of Armadillo Merino socks worth up to £30! (They may be used or new... it's all part of the fun....)

To take part, just post on here an example of a time your feet were so cold, you just wanted the world to end in the hope you'd end up in the fiery pits of hell and get to dip those numb lower digits into a toasty puddle of lava.

Good luck and competition ends on Friday... Or Sunday... We'll see how it goes.
 
#2
this afternoon, walking back from the client in lovely Limerick when all the weather was cold, lumpy, high speed and horizontal.

or the Falklands with 1 KOSB when the weather was cold, lumpy, high speed and horizontal AND we were miles away from some nice accommodation

or Bavaria when the German mountain troops sacked it as it wasn't safe and we still put a Dressing station up and kipped outside in bashas. Not only that but 'Jellyhead' put water in the heater instead of kero.
 
#3
oh and save postage, parcel the socks up with my neck warmer...
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
#5
I was very cold walking the dogs so I popped the electric blanket on before I go to bed.
Do I win?
My signals cadre in February (happy birthday) we’d to lay some ghastly cables at Swynnerton through frozen water, right up to my manliness. Now if that wasn’t bad enough we’d the seven dwarves with us. So poor ******* like me that is tall had to carry a female because they are as strong as men after all.
They should’ve been on quarter rations, half the size, half the work.
Where’s my boots and socks.
 
#8
Tonight not 2 hours ago, up to my ankles in fooking snow waiting on the fooking security team to turn up to escort my team ******** ******* ***** barstewards.
 
#10
Late January 2016, I was on a Puma Force flight from Qargha to the military airport at North HKIA. Just prior to boarding it was a beautiful sunny morning and with only around two feet of snow on the ground. Now given that it's only a 7 minute flight, I thought I'd dress light (rip-stop trousers, t-shirt, thin fleece & issue desert magnum boots (obviously Osprey, helmet, gloves and goggles too).

When I boarded the helo, I was given the first seat on the left (decent view out of the open door, winner!), as I sat down next to a tankie major, he looked at me with a big cheesy grin on his face and raised both thumbs - weird bügger I thought.

Upon taking off I rapidly became aware of the reason that said tankie rupert was so happy, he was now being shielded from the wind: It was frigging freezing, and getting rapidly colder, I've skied into ice holes in Norway and that was nothing in comparison to the windchill on this flight. Oh well I thought, it's only a 7 minute flight. How wrong was I??? We flew directly east heading towards North HKIA - not even slowing down as we passed the airport.......

Continuing east towards Surobi we then looped north into a mountain valley which then opened out onto a plain, a plain literally full of chimneys (I think they were brick kilns). By this point my sense of humour about the cold had disappeared out of the door with the 120mph+ slipstream and associated windchill. We then dropped down to around 20' to 30' and were now hurtling between these gash miniature brown effigies of The Leaning Tower of Pisa. At this point all I could feel was pain in my:
  1. Feet (I might as well have not been wearing those desert magnums and should probably have been wearing the gucci Haix boots which Ravers let me win a couple of years ago).
  2. Legs (the osteoarthritis in my right knee was chuntering particularly loudly.....).
  3. Hands (Mechanix gloves are very practical, but not very warm).
  4. Arms (bloody thin fleece).
  5. Face (my skin felt like marble).
Shortly afterwards, we landed in Bagram AB. No pax or stores got on or off (fan-f*cking-tastic!!!), we were on the ground long enough for my extremities to start defrosting and to scream in pain at me, I was very, very, very unhappy with my lot.

After around 10 minutes we took off again and headed towards Kabul, I'd mentally prepared myself for another quick 25 minutes in the cold, so felt ready for the coming ordeal - wrong again......

Upon getting into HKIA's airspace we went into a holding pattern for around 15 minutes, I'd started to get very cold by this stage, but was still man enough not to ask the crab loadie to shut the door. We continued to circle for a bit longer, then one of the chaps/chapesses up front leant on the cyclic and we headed off east again to circle at a higher altitude and have a decko at something near Camp Warehouse, by this time I was in very bad clip and a huge amount of pain, and was now giving due consideration to simply unclipping my seat belt and taking a header out of the door, I'd have had an exciting 10 or 15 seconds, but I wouldn't have been cold any longer. I don't know how long we continued circling, but I'm pretty sure it was long enough for the earth to have been subjected to some pretty major continental drift.

When we finally landed in North HKIA, I was unbelievably cold and stiff, and really struggled to get my seat belt off, instead of climbing out of the Puma, I simply fell out of the door, crawling a bit before I got back on my feet - the loadie then threw my bag off the helo, which hit me in the chest and knocked me over again. I could have crawled back to the helo and killed him, but the thought of my nice warm office and a hot cup of absolutely anything had a stronger pull.

The first thing I did straight after getting off the helo, was to go for a pee in one of the dixies. The temperature differential between my well hidden (and shy) member and my hands was so great that it felt like I was burning my fingers on my c0ck.

I now dress more sensibly for flights, the lesson has been well and truly and painfully learned........
 
Last edited:

petetheplane

LE
Book Reviewer
#11
Is Bronco Lane on ARRSE?

Can't compete with that one.

However, I suffer from hypertension and, if I keep conventional socks on for over an hour, my feet and lower legs balloon out. My left foot and leg feel like they're on fire at the moment.

I wonder if some decent socks would have the opposite effect ?
 
#12
The last time my feet were so cold was , Umm wait a mo , dont have 'em any more , that me out then.
 
#13
The last time my feet were so cold was , Umm wait a mo , dont have 'em any more , that me out then.
You've got hands haven't you?

There's nowt wrong with a pair of gucci thirty quid Merino wool mittens you know.
 
#14
Got issued Norgie wool fishermen's socks before heading down south for a year. Boss kit and kept the toes tres toastie but they still had the lanolin in the wool for waterproofing and ponged a bit until they'd been washed a dozen times or so.

No doubt Merino have worked around that problem by now...
 
#16
Got issued Norgie wool fishermen's socks before heading down south for a year. Boss kit and kept the toes tres toastie but they still had the lanolin in the wool for waterproofing and ponged a bit until they'd been washed a dozen times or so.

No doubt Merino have worked around that problem by now...
I thought that was an attractant for the sheep
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#17
You've got hands haven't you?

There's nowt wrong with a pair of gucci thirty quid Merino wool mittens you know.
You've not really thought this through.
 
#19
You've not really thought this through.
That's something I've frequently been accused of in the past, at least I'm doing it here in relative anonymity, instead of on a conference call with around 50 other people like last time!
 
#20
Scottish pre tan training* on Portobello beach stubbing my toe in the concrete outdoor pool with my bawbag up by my ears hoping a jellyfish would pass by and sting me to warm me up.

*pale blue to white
 

Latest Threads

Top