Come and have a go if you think you're funny enough

Well,I got them all in the what?
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Book Reviewer

Sing along with me.

La dee dee, one two three, Eric the half a bee em double-u

When John demanded half of everything in the divorce Doris didn't think he was taking it literally.

"And now when we get to Checkpoint Charlie, we just drive straight under the barrier and escape to the west"

"What do you mean, I've cut off the wrong half?"

Minion: Mr. Goldfinger Sir? Mr. Bond escaped again.
Goldfinger: What? From my fiendish Laser Cutting Table?
Minion: Yup. Told you not to leave him alone.
Goldfinger Fek it. Do his car instead. See how he likes that!
Minion: On it.
Goldfinger: Oh and Minion?
Minion: Yes Sir?
Goldfinger: Don't be a cheeky bastard. You only got the job because you're the Emperor's nephew.
I've still got that shark tank...
Minion: Yes Sir.
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Scientists say there are now 4 confirmed states of matter

Solid matter
Liquid matter
Gas matter
and most recently...
Black Lives matter
I hope Jim Davidson and Michael Barrymore are listening.
Jimbo - you have the entire month of February EVERY year to think about it.
Michael - you don't have to think about, you're just an unfunny cant.

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