Come and have a go if you think you're funny enough

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Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
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It was a last minute job but she decided to go to the fancy dress party as a song by Dexy's Midnight Runners
 
This, somehow, reminds me of a story where an alcoholic is threatened by his wife: "You go out and come home steaming drunk again and I'm leaving you". Sure enough, he's an addict, him and his pal go out and get steaming drunk, so much so that he throws up down the front of his jacket. He's fretting, knowing what his wife said. "Don't worry," says his pal, "take this £20, tell your wife that somebody else was sick and to prove it, show her this money and say that they offered to pay for the cleaning cost". "Brilliant idea!" says the first guy, and goes home nervously to his wife. "You've been drinking again!" she says, angrily. "No, it wasn't me," he replies, "this other feller did it, and he offered to pay £20 for the cleaning the cleaning cost", he says showing her the money. "So why've you got £40 there then?" she asks. He replies "Oh, the other £20 is from the feller that shat in my pants"
 
Probably old and been done before.... but, hey its ~Friday..

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No Mildred, inflating a tyre is not called a blow job. That's... errm... something else entirely. When you get home tonight, make your husband a nice meal and ask him. He'll... errm... explain it to you.
 
Nigel doesn't want to contemplate 2 months of no beer or ceegars as a special guest of JR-M

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Hauptman Hans & his Frau were attempting to smuggle a Scottish Haggis into the Fatherland....

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Him: "Look what I did!"
Her: "Look what the gardener did."
 

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