"It's the usual sad list lads. Pte John Topmkins, LCpl Jim Roberts and Pte Smudge Smith are all now identifying as women too and reckon it will be another 100 years before they are allowed to serve at the front."
No Sir.. At no time did we fall asleep on duty Sir.. Yes Sir.. we did check the lads back in at 0:00 hundred hours.. No Sir.. they were not drunk Sir.. errrrr... NOW Sir.. You want to see us right NOW.. ??