Combusting comestibile causes consumer consternation

The most depressing thing is that she will spread her legs, and nine months later spread her legs again.....

.... and the next generation of 45 minute, microwave Masterchefs will be born.
The thing that depresses me is the thought that years ago natural selection would have done for her at an early age. Now we can but hope, as some people really are too stupid to be allowed to live!
 
that post deserve a Like for the title alone!!
 
Another ten minutes and she could have achieved nuclear fusion of mince and mashed potato and a future of unlimited clean energy with only piping hot gravy waste produced.


The gravy would take 20,000 years to cool down though.
 
She's only 20!? **** me she's had a hard paper round! She looks older than me.
Spot on. 20? Looks more like 40.

The illiterate stupid* fat mong should be thanking Sainsburys for making her forgo some calories

* stupid - if I saw 45min MW on wrapper I'd instantly think "missed a . there; 4.5min"
 
Well I think she's sweetly pretty and I want to protect her.

Is she the one on the left or right?
 
A ground breaking story of national importance has emerged in the media..war with Iran, trade sanctions , global warming and Brexit just seem to pale into comparison after this story I shamelessly lifted from online.

View attachment 399684

Kylie Jarman, 20, from King's Lynn, Norfolk, hit out at Sainsbury's claiming the culinary disaster was caused by the instructions on the packaging not being clear enough. Ms Jarman had planned to share the £1.39 meal with sister-in-law Sarah McKown. She took to Facebook after the incident to complain soon after the incident, ranting: 'Don't buy cottage pie from Sainsbury's as this is what happens when you put it in the microwave for 45 minutes.' Soon afterwards, however, dozens of her friends revealed her mistake to her in the comments.

Gemma Parker wrote: Gemma Parker 'I'm no cooking expert but 45 mins in the oven yes, not the microwave.'

Ashleigh Holder said: 'Not the supermarket fault. It's yours love I've never know a cottage pit to go in a microwave for 45 mins. In a oven yes but not a microwave. U need to use your brain.'

One friend wrote: '45 mins in the microwave, I'm surprised it's not radioactive.'

Another said: 'Four to five minutes more like!'

Kylie later admitted her error : 'The pack had cooking instructions on two sides, one for the microwave and one for the oven, I thought it said 45 minutes in the microwave because it had small writing, I did momentarily think it was a little strange when Sarah tapped in '45' on the microwave but we were so tired and hungry neither of us noticed.'

One day people will ask " where were you when Kylie burnt her low quality cottage pie " ?
Mrs Specop is no cook.

Years ago she put a veggie thing in a microwave and to cut a long story short, a BA equipped big handsome fireman strides out of the building with a smouldering tofuburger in gauntleted hand, asking the assembled crowd of NHS nurses and academics who was responsible.

Mrs. Specop puts her hand up.

Cue adoration from the predominantly female staff who really, really liked 20 firemen turning up and handing out phone numbers.


Careeeeeeer move.

Edit: it was the NHS version of a bus full of nurses.....
 
A ground breaking story of national importance has emerged in the media..war with Iran, trade sanctions , global warming and Brexit just seem to pale into comparison after this story I shamelessly lifted from online.

View attachment 399684

Kylie Jarman, 20, from King's Lynn, Norfolk, hit out at Sainsbury's claiming the culinary disaster was caused by the instructions on the packaging not being clear enough. Ms Jarman had planned to share the £1.39 meal with sister-in-law Sarah McKown. She took to Facebook after the incident to complain soon after the incident, ranting: 'Don't buy cottage pie from Sainsbury's as this is what happens when you put it in the microwave for 45 minutes.' Soon afterwards, however, dozens of her friends revealed her mistake to her in the comments.

Gemma Parker wrote: Gemma Parker 'I'm no cooking expert but 45 mins in the oven yes, not the microwave.'

Ashleigh Holder said: 'Not the supermarket fault. It's yours love I've never know a cottage pit to go in a microwave for 45 mins. In a oven yes but not a microwave. U need to use your brain.'

One friend wrote: '45 mins in the microwave, I'm surprised it's not radioactive.'

Another said: 'Four to five minutes more like!'

Kylie later admitted her error : 'The pack had cooking instructions on two sides, one for the microwave and one for the oven, I thought it said 45 minutes in the microwave because it had small writing, I did momentarily think it was a little strange when Sarah tapped in '45' on the microwave but we were so tired and hungry neither of us noticed.'

One day people will ask " where were you when Kylie burnt her low quality cottage pie " ?
20???


Jesus...
 
If I did something this monumentally stupid, I like to think I'd keep it to myself rather than going to the newspapers and broadcasting my brain fart to the region.
 

Goatman

ADC
Book Reviewer
2 Points
I do believe its covered in the snowflake thread so I am notifying the powers that be you failed to use the search engine and 2) asylum seekers dumped by HMG 'anywhere but Kent' are a big thing in Kings Lynn.
Amended without fiscal consideration, gratis.
 
I think they need to stop putting warning labels and such like on goods, it'll thin out the herd in no time. What's dead can't breed.
 

gaijin

War Hero
Looking at it (not the pie) I am going to go out on a limb and say that she wasn't planning to share it with anyone. The fat bag of crap.
 
A minor aside.
After much research I got a new MW the other month, much research because basically the only thing you need a MW for is to nuke things for a maximum of 5 mins, no stupid 'menu' buttons, no delay timers, no defrost.

Obviously I couldn't find one without all the nonsense but did manage to get one that causes the lights to dim when its on, with a dial as the 30 sec button wears out over time (I need something to time sex) and the absolute minimum of bollox.

T'other day I knocked the dial with my hand and it went to 95 mins (which went onto my pointless features list), so really its the manufacturers fault for allowing the MW to have the settings that hopelessly retarded are allowed to freely use.

Only need an on button and a timer that doesn't go past 5 and I for one, look forward to the forthcoming GE when a nationalised Amstrad factory produces only such models for the workers of Britain to put their names down on a list for to be issued only for use out of office hours so as not to interfere with tractor production.

Come comrades join me in singing The Red Flag in Jeremys honour.


You know I really need to check the seal on that bloody thing.
 

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