Combusting comestibile causes consumer consternation

A ground breaking story of national importance has emerged in the media..war with Iran, trade sanctions , global warming and Brexit just seem to pale into comparison after this story I shamelessly lifted from online.

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Kylie Jarman, 20, from King's Lynn, Norfolk, hit out at Sainsbury's claiming the culinary disaster was caused by the instructions on the packaging not being clear enough. Ms Jarman had planned to share the £1.39 meal with sister-in-law Sarah McKown. She took to Facebook after the incident to complain soon after the incident, ranting: 'Don't buy cottage pie from Sainsbury's as this is what happens when you put it in the microwave for 45 minutes.' Soon afterwards, however, dozens of her friends revealed her mistake to her in the comments.

Gemma Parker wrote: Gemma Parker 'I'm no cooking expert but 45 mins in the oven yes, not the microwave.'

Ashleigh Holder said: 'Not the supermarket fault. It's yours love I've never know a cottage pit to go in a microwave for 45 mins. In a oven yes but not a microwave. U need to use your brain.'

One friend wrote: '45 mins in the microwave, I'm surprised it's not radioactive.'

Another said: 'Four to five minutes more like!'

Kylie later admitted her error : 'The pack had cooking instructions on two sides, one for the microwave and one for the oven, I thought it said 45 minutes in the microwave because it had small writing, I did momentarily think it was a little strange when Sarah tapped in '45' on the microwave but we were so tired and hungry neither of us noticed.'

One day people will ask " where were you when Kylie burnt her low quality cottage pie " ?
 

Helm

MIA
Moderator
Book Reviewer
A ground breaking story of national importance has emerged in the media..war with Iran, trade sanctions , global warming and Brexit just seem to pale into comparison after this story I shamelessly lifted from online.

View attachment 399684

Kylie Jarman, 20, from King's Lynn, Norfolk, hit out at Sainsbury's claiming the culinary disaster was caused by the instructions on the packaging not being clear enough. Ms Jarman had planned to share the £1.39 meal with sister-in-law Sarah McKown. She took to Facebook after the incident to complain soon after the incident, ranting: 'Don't buy cottage pie from Sainsbury's as this is what happens when you put it in the microwave for 45 minutes.' Soon afterwards, however, dozens of her friends revealed her mistake to her in the comments.

Gemma Parker wrote: Gemma Parker 'I'm no cooking expert but 45 mins in the oven yes, not the microwave.'

Ashleigh Holder said: 'Not the supermarket fault. It's yours love I've never know a cottage pit to go in a microwave for 45 mins. In a oven yes but not a microwave. U need to use your brain.'

One friend wrote: '45 mins in the microwave, I'm surprised it's not radioactive.'

Another said: 'Four to five minutes more like!'

Kylie later admitted her error : 'The pack had cooking instructions on two sides, one for the microwave and one for the oven, I thought it said 45 minutes in the microwave because it had small writing, I did momentarily think it was a little strange when Sarah tapped in '45' on the microwave but we were so tired and hungry neither of us noticed.'

One day people will ask " where were you when Kylie burnt her low quality cottage pie " ?
If only she'd put her head in alongside it.
 
To be fair, if my personal chef burnt the cottage pie I’d be furious.
 

philc

LE
2 Points
I do believe its covered in the snowflake thread so I am notifying the powers that be you failed to use the search engine and incest is a big thing in Kings Lynn.
 

Londo

LE
A ground breaking story of national importance has emerged in the media..war with Iran, trade sanctions , global warming and Brexit just seem to pale into comparison after this story I shamelessly lifted from online.

View attachment 399684

Kylie Jarman, 20, from King's Lynn, Norfolk, hit out at Sainsbury's claiming the culinary disaster was caused by the instructions on the packaging not being clear enough. Ms Jarman had planned to share the £1.39 meal with sister-in-law Sarah McKown. She took to Facebook after the incident to complain soon after the incident, ranting: 'Don't buy cottage pie from Sainsbury's as this is what happens when you put it in the microwave for 45 minutes.' Soon afterwards, however, dozens of her friends revealed her mistake to her in the comments.

Gemma Parker wrote: Gemma Parker 'I'm no cooking expert but 45 mins in the oven yes, not the microwave.'

Ashleigh Holder said: 'Not the supermarket fault. It's yours love I've never know a cottage pit to go in a microwave for 45 mins. In a oven yes but not a microwave. U need to use your brain.'

One friend wrote: '45 mins in the microwave, I'm surprised it's not radioactive.'

Another said: 'Four to five minutes more like!'

Kylie later admitted her error : 'The pack had cooking instructions on two sides, one for the microwave and one for the oven, I thought it said 45 minutes in the microwave because it had small writing, I did momentarily think it was a little strange when Sarah tapped in '45' on the microwave but we were so tired and hungry neither of us noticed.'

One day people will ask " where were you when Kylie burnt her low quality cottage pie " ?
Denser than a dense thing at full throttle
 
She spent a whole £1.39 in Sainsbury`s FFS, 45 mins in the MW probably improved it.
 
She's only 20!? Fuck me she's had a hard paper round! She looks older than me.
 
She must be as thick as mince!
Not much mince in a £1.39 cottage pie for two. After 45 minutes of irradiation whatever there was before cooking had probably been reduced to its individual atoms. Mmmmmm... lovely. Anybody for a strangely glowing cottage soup?
 
The most depressing thing is that she will spread her legs, and nine months later spread her legs again.....

.... and the next generation of 45 minute, microwave Masterchefs will be born.
 

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