Colouful and descripive phrases

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by DRIVER_B_III_RASC, Aug 1, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I sometimes use a particular phrase of a descriptive nature to enforce a point.
    Two examples.

    "It's so hot my bollocks are like plums in heavy syrup."

    Another used on a hot day

    "I've got an arse like a fresh bullet wound."

    Any others spring to mind?
     
  2. After a particularly big lunch:

    "I feel as heavy as a RLC driver on pay-day"
     
    • Like Like x 1
  3. For a hot day:

    I am sweating like a rapist or you could drown kittens in my pants right now!

    and for the old and bold on a rainy day 'I am wetter than a tupney whoers crack after a troop of soldiers'
     
  4. Whores!
     
  5. BiscuitsAB

    BiscuitsAB LE Moderator

    used for insulting women over 30. You baggy fanny'd old goat.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  6. She had a face like:

    A dog's arse with a hat on

    A blind cobbler's thumb

    A bulldog chewing a wasp.

    A fanny like:

    A butcher's shop window

    A ripped out fireplace

    A wizard's sleeve.
     
  7. A fanny like a chainsawed moose!

    I know its spelt whore but in that phrase it is said 'who-errs' or at least in Norn Iron it is, you grammer Nazi
     
    • Like Like x 2
  8. I had a boner so hard a cat couldn't scratch it.....
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  9. Fixed pro bono
     
  10. When being refused at a tea dance: "If I had a face like yours I'd shave me arse and walk backwards."
     
    • Like Like x 2
  11. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    A fanny that resembled a yawning hippo.
     
  12. aka a diamond cutter.
     
  13. A fanny like a hippos yawn

    A fanny like a bust mattress

    A fanny like a smashed clock

    A fanny like a sheeps cut throat

    A face like a welders bench

    her fannys like licking a 9 volt battery
     
  14. When offered a choice one find unpalatable..."I would rather dip my head in boiling chip fat...again."
     
  15. Unless I'm mistaken, you weren't being corrected...