Army Rumour Service

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Collapsing Volcanoes: A Business Opportunity?

Verily Bretheren! Having employed the J Button I find no mention of this topic (at least on page one) so here we go. The link below goes to a google results page giving reports from a variety of sources on the discovery that Mount Etna is slowly collapsing under its own weight and may suddenly decide to speed up the result of which would be to generate Tsunamis in the Med the like of which have not been seen since Troppers prototypes.

https://www.google.co.uk/search?ei=.......0...1c..64.psy-ab..0.0.0....0.meB-SRI3aDM

Now there are many related topics to do be discussed here (and feel free to do so) but one thing sticks out to me. I think there is money to be made in dismanteling (SWIDT?) the volcano safely. Essentially I propose that we utilise existing qurrying and mining technology to deconstruct the mountain (least stable bits first) and deposit the bits somewhere safer ie much lower down. The next link describes the use of a big old dumper truck in quarrying which is generating electricity as it transports full loads down a hill and then discharges excess stored electricity to the grid (retaining only enough to climb the hill empty for the mext load).

Meet the E-dumper, the world's largest electric vehicle

ARRSE is ideally placed to expolit this opportunity blessed as it is with experienced planties, VMs, Leaders, People who know everything etc. What say you?

PS Who knows anything about crowd funding.
PPS If we are quick perhaps we could also do the wobbly volcano in the Canaries.
 

PFGEN

GCM
I suspect things might get a tad toasty when you remove the tops of the three craters leading to the magma chamber. Said volcano thingy still being active. Nah, just let it slide into the sea. The tsunami would head out in the direction of Southern Italy, Crete and probably land on shore in Egypt and a bit of Libya. The Greeks will get a bit stroppy but would anybody else notice.

Other than that submit a proposal to the EU, experience all sorts of difficulties and delays, more cash and time required. Have it named as a prestigious EU terraforming project and you could probably keep the gravy train going for years...or until the volcano erupts.
 
Last edited:
There are just not enough options out there, otherwise my "Tsunami Surf" line of clothing shops and branded items would have got funded
Megatsunami - Wikipedia


P.s is it a bank holiday somewhere in the world, or has the turps tippling started particulalry early this week?
 
No! This is a serious issue which MUST be addressed and ARRSE is the ideal forum.

I must disagree - you've gone decidely single focus interest group in your choice.
You're keen, lad - but you're not the only game in town to get to the top of a mouldering ash heap
If the creative juices of ARRSE are to flow, they need a real challenge.

I propose this thread is re-named "whoops-whats-my-apocalyse?", it has a poll with lots of options, e.g:
  • Pandemic flu
  • Global Thermonuclear War - Original Cuba Edition
  • Global Thermonuclear War - WOPR assisted
  • Collapse of Western Civilisation - Barbabrian Assisted
  • Collapse of Western Civilisation - Twitter Assisted
  • Release the HypnoDrones
  • Panopticon Singularity - Soylent Green redux
  • Rise of the Zombies
  • Bump my Magma - Hekla/Katla tour
  • etc,etc

Having selected an option, the user should then post a decent SMART proposal.
e.g.
S - Initiate ragnarok by over exciting icelandic volvcanoes
M- Iceland sinks into the Atlantic, fenrir is released on the world, etc
A- Drop suitable device(s) into volcano(es)
R- Yes-ish, might take a while https://www.wired.com/2012/04/could-people-trigger-a-volcanic-eruption-on-purpose/
T- before the glaciers all dissappear, reducing mad 4x4 access to the caldera

If there are lots of similar plans, then the one with the most likes wins

p.s Bagsy @Ravers gaff
 
If Etna is collapsing under its own weight, how about trimming a bit off the top and dumping it in the sea? This would reduce the weight of the volcano and the spoil could be used to extend the coast out from between Catania and Taormina so the mountain wouldn't be so close to the sea. If it falls down it will land on a beach...

Alternately, drill a hole in from the western side and set of a nuke beneath it - the resulting thermonuclear blast should create a void underneath allowing the volcano to collapse straight down rather than fall into the sea.

As a fall back make a sacrifice to the volcano gods...

Right, I'm off for tea. I'll leave you lot to sort out the details.
 
If Etna is collapsing under its own weight, how about trimming a bit off the top and dumping it in the sea? This would reduce the weight of the volcano and the spoil could be used to extend the coast out from between Catania and Taormina so the mountain wouldn't be so close to the sea. If it falls down it will land on a beach...

Glad to see that we are thinking along the same lines.

As a fall back make a sacrifice to the volcano gods..

Noted. We'll work this into the business plan.
 
It is in Macedonia. Revolution day by all accounts so might as well celebrate something.

Is that the Macedonia that is part of Greece or the Macedonia that doesn't really care that it has the same name as part of Greece?
 
I must disagree - you've gone decidely single focus interest group in your choice.
You're keen, lad - but you're not the only game in town to get to the top of a mouldering ash heap
If the creative juices of ARRSE are to flow, they need a real challenge.

I propose this thread is re-named "whoops-whats-my-apocalyse?", it has a poll with lots of options, e.g:
  • Pandemic flu
  • Global Thermonuclear War - Original Cuba Edition
  • Global Thermonuclear War - WOPR assisted
  • Collapse of Western Civilisation - Barbabrian Assisted
  • Collapse of Western Civilisation - Twitter Assisted
  • Release the HypnoDrones
  • Panopticon Singularity - Soylent Green redux
  • Rise of the Zombies
  • Bump my Magma - Hekla/Katla tour
  • etc,etc

Having selected an option, the user should then post a decent SMART proposal.
e.g.
S - Initiate ragnarok by over exciting icelandic volvcanoes
M- Iceland sinks into the Atlantic, fenrir is released on the world, etc
A- Drop suitable device(s) into volcano(es)
R- Yes-ish, might take a while https://www.wired.com/2012/04/could-people-trigger-a-volcanic-eruption-on-purpose/
T- before the glaciers all dissappear, reducing mad 4x4 access to the caldera

If there are lots of similar plans, then the one with the most likes wins

p.s Bagsy @Ravers gaff

We need a forum. One thread would be limiting.
 
Speaking of collapsing volcanoes, here's another opportunity to try out your business model ...

'Volcano watchers are keeping a close eye on one that’s been active for more than 20 years, amid fears it could erupt or collapse.

'The west flank of the Tungurahua volcano in Ecuador has shown the strongest signs of deformation, believed to be caused by “ongoing eruptive activity” by scientists studying the site. University of Exeter geophysical volcanologist Dr James Hickey, one of the authors of the latest research published in the journal Earth And Planetary Science Letters, said the team used data from space to track the crumbling mountain. “Using satellite data we have observed very rapid deformation of Tungurahua’s west flank, which our research suggests is caused by imbalances between magma being supplied and magma being erupted,” Dr Hickey said.'


The Tungurahua volcano became active in 1999. Picture: AFP

The Tungurahua volcano became active in 1999. Picture: AFPSource:News Limited

 
Last edited:
Surely if you carve the top off a volcano and remove the weight it is no longer in equilibrium. You will destabilise the whole thing. The volcano will try and start to push back up as the weight pushing it down has gone. You will then get an eruption.

Can you wait til Easter and I’ve gone on my holiday before you start carving the thing up please. I want all the aircraft to be grounded by volcanic ash so I get an extra long holiday.

RP
 
Last edited:
Its just too quiet...
 
Top