Cold Callers

So what can I say to repeated cold callers?

Back home tonight at 6 . First call called me by a different name, so no Mr objobda lives here.

Next was correct so I replied in bad German they hung up, calling after a few mins with someone trying their school German . No prob switched to Italian. Hung up called again and I tried my bad school French. Hung up.

Now the barstewards just called again.

Just what can you say to these folk?

The best bit of you dribbled down your Mums leg or I was going to fukc your mum but the men in front had the correct change would go down a treat but is it legal to swear, curse and be nasty to these barstewards?


Gallery Guru
Get caller display and don't answer if you don't know the number.
Register with the telephone preference service, takes couple of minutes. It does cut the calls down.


Book Reviewer
try the I will be invoicing you £10 a call route and trace the number.
Don't say anything,put the phone down without hanging up,let them waste their time and money.

Or,if it's a UK firm,ask them for the name of the company,and a name/telephone number,the phone goes dead 9 times out of 10,don't engage in a conversation,just keep asking for company/name/telephone number!
Try listing with the TPS seems to work for us. Link


I've just got into telling them I'm a Sperm Bank. I read it on another post somewhere.
I've only got one second beyond the 'Bank' bit before they hang up.....
Whoever that was posted that, i am indebted.
They're exploiting a loophole and effectively going through phone directory with no regard to TPS. They pass it off as a wrong number and hence theoretically they can argue they are not breaking the law, depsite the fact they blaantantly are. and then turn the conversation around to how they can help you. It's normally a chap called Kevin. From Mumbai.

Engage them in conversation, sound interested and then pretend someone is at the door. Leave phone there. How soul destroying would that be for them holding on for their commission!
(In an Indian accent): "I'm happy you are calling. Your daughter come to my house, and she kick my dog, and now my dog needs operation"

Or, pretend to be Jose Mourinho - a couple of cold caller have giggled before hanging up on me.

Sensible answer is the TPS. As has been stated, it will greatly cut down the calls.
If you've caller display you can see and if you don't know the number ignore. If its important they'll leave a message.
Got that but some call with the number blocked and the others called with numbers from around the country. as Mrs OBs job means she is on 24/7 for phone calls I can't take the chance.


Book Reviewer
why not answer in a camp voice - 'good evening telephone preference service, justin speaking how may I help.'


Book Reviewer
once you answer they class that as a success and sell the info on.


Book Reviewer
I got a really weird one.
Chap rang, said he was doing a survey, it would only take two minutes.
I asked him how he got this number ( mobile) he said he got from a list from the phone company. So of course I tell him this is my personal mobile and only 8 people have it.
I asked him if he would mind removing it from the list, he said he would.
'Right' I said 'You've got your two minutes'.
'No mate' he said ' You sound like a nice guy, I'll leave you to it' and hung up.
Bastards attempting a new technique by being reasonable.

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Get this as its worth every penny !

CPR Call Blocker

I Set one up for my folks ( just plugs in to the phone line ) and the calls dramatically decreased over the first week ... Several weeks later I don't think they get any these days !


I have a little fun with them.

When they ring up, I say I'm going to put them on hold for a moment. Being as I work on line, from home, it's no trouble at all to keep this little gem in a minimised window for just such occasions. I pop the phone down next to the speaker and crack on with my work.[video=youtube;PGrxHO-B2TY][/video]


I'm not above SS marching music, Panzerlied, or Loyalist tunes from Ulster either when I'm feeling naughty.[video=youtube;mAvz9hg7IUw][/video]
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