Coitus Interruptus ? A shag interrupted by another?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by shagnasty, Sep 17, 2007.

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  1. Memory of self and four other stalwarts, busily giving five Chinese "ladies" a seeing to, when the door to the establishment is booted in by an MP and in a loud voice - in Jockenese - he proclaims , " D'ye no ken yer in a hoose of ill repute?"

    Anyone else been caught in the capital act in such hilarious circumstances? :D
  2. regularly, but I suppose it's my fault. I have a fetish for the London nightbus to Woolwich ;)
  3. Why "ladies" in inverted commas? :? Does this mean you were unsure and this should in fact be:

    DELETE: Ladies
    INSERT: Ladyboys.
  4. Surely it is what your girlfriend's mother was for? She used to make random visits to D*****'s bedroom where we were "listening to her records" in order to check that nobody's back doors were being kicked in.

    Luckily she stamped up the stairs like a guards drill pig, giving an element of tactical prescience and enabling cuddles to hide little cuddles and salvage some dignity. Unlike the occasion she found a used spoggy under D**'s bed! Happy days!
  5. In my rampant youth I used to regularly 'listen to records' with a girl in her bedroom. The houshold consisted of mother, much younger twin daughters and aforementioned girl.

    We thought we were so clever, always did her up against the door virtually fully clothed. Never even got close to being caught 'in flagrante'.

    Years later, I bumped into one of the twin daughters and mentioned this (yes, she was worth a go). She collapsed in fits of giggles and eventually explained that everyone knew what was going on and kept well clear.

    "How?" I enquired, fearing my super stealthy knocking skills had failed me.

    "The TV aerial came into the house through the wall in that room, travelled under the carpet and down the stairs into the lounge. When it was pinched under the bedroom door by opening and closing, the picture went all funny. So, whenever you two were at it up against the door Mum made us put a video on because the telly picture was so bad."

    No, I had no luck with her in the end.
  6. The missus mother was kipping on the sofa bed in the living room after a family night on the piss . About half seven in the morning my mobile went off in the same room . With out thinking I staggered out of bed and out of the bedroom and answered it in front of her whilst sporting a hard on that you could club a tiger to death with !
  7. Dream on son :D
  8. Here is my true story.
    I was 18 and on pre NI leave, girlfriend in London. So I knew I had to meet the family, heres the kicker, the father was a Major in the Salvation Army. I packs No2s for big visit. Family in garden , lovely weather! :) Me and Daphne (yes I know) who had been round the block a few times I can tell you, retire in a discreet manner to parlour where after much snogging and fumbling, I make myself comfy in an armchair facing the door.
    Daphne gets busy on her knees and as usual in the throes of pleasure ( as you all know) one becomes deaf! 5 mins later door opens" Are you two coming into the gard......." My hand shot out grabbed peaked cap and in one swift move, blinding to behold , pushed Daphnes luscious lips from my drool cover Man stick and insert said appendage into Hat Dress No2 Vandyke Pattern Mens. Size 7.7/8s. Smiled and said we´ll be out shortly. I know he saw everything, but he was too Christian to say anything. I made my excuses and left shortly afterwards. Boffed her brains out couple of days later though. She gave me NSU, little trollop.
    That´ll teach me to hang around with preachers daughters eh? :lol:
  9. I was never nearly caught I'm afraid. I knew her parents would be hours at that restaurant.
  10. What a shame, it is very exciting - even if you only think you might be caught!
  11. Smartas, you're going to HELL...
  12. Oh Cuddles... I bet you felt a cnut when you realized the joke... :D :D :D
  13. Wah!!!