Cohen brothers films....

Discussion in 'Films, Music and All Things Artsy' started by shortfuse, Jul 19, 2008.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I shoud start this post, by admitting I despise cinema, theatre, actors, opera, ballet in fact "the arts" full stop.... I am apparently a "joyless soul" but there it is.... anyway...where was I?

    The f ucking Cohen brothers....

    Earlier this year, those c unts stole 2 and a half hours of my life, cunningly disguised as a film entitled "No country for old men"... Which SHOULD of been called "A rambling pile of scheisse with no discernible plot, or end"

    They've done it again....

    In a moment of tired weakness, I slotted in an old DVD to kill some time having heard all sorts of good things about it, it's an old film called "The big Lebowski" and apparently its a "cult classic"

    Well f uck my old boots, lets see ...the plot... money... goes missing.... rambles on a bit... no discernible story line,... some f ucking awful acting from people who should know better.... AND no end..... can't they f ucking THINK of an end, or do they knock off for the Sabbath or something?

    thats 5 hours those pr icks owe me.... and the tally grows if you add "O Brother where art thou" and the f ucking awful remake of "the Lady killers" they made...

    and yet, people lap this shite up like its manna from heaven, and treat these f ucking front wheelers like they're geniuses....

    How did these c unts escape the final solution? that's what I want to know.

    This has been a film review by Shortfuse, hope it helps you retain a part of your life that you would otherwise of wasted.
  2. I'll let the anti-semitism ride. Bad taste old boy.

    As you are in the wrong field looking at cinema I would have spared you the full film, whatever its glory. You should have tried this instead. It is probably about your level.

  3. I'd recommend that you watch "Fargo" or "Raising Arizona" but frankly they'd be wasted on any Philistine who doesn't dig El Duderino.

    but you're spot on about "The Ladykillers"
  4. Shortfuse,

    I guess the clue is in the name - but frankly, if you don't get The Big Lebowski, there's no hope for you. The Coen brothers (note the spelling) are richer than you're ever gonna be - and they also make films that a lot of people like and understand. And find very funny. This is called art.

    If you don't understand the concept of art, cinema, or the fact that the the aforementioned film is extremely funny while not actually having a plot or being about anything in particular, then try not to venture out of the WOs and Sgts mess too often...

    And leave the anti-semite thing there, while you're at it.

    Get out more.


    [The Dude abides]
  5. Obviously, your not a golfer.
  6. 'In a perfect world, all films would be made by the Coen Brothers'

    Mark Kermode.

    I'd agree with that.
  7. Why do you assume anyone with a differing opinion to yours would reside in the WO's and Sgt's mess?

    bit "chippy" isn't it?

    I guess the clues in your username... do people avoid you at mess functions?

    does your soup often taste "a bit salty?"

    If Jeff Bridges rambling on in a half arsed fashion whilst constantly smoking the crappest joints I've ever f ucking seen, (I mean who taught the c unt how to skin up for f ucks sake, I've seen better joints rolled by blokes so caned they cant speak with one eye shut) is what you call "art" then I suspect you live in Tracy Emmins bedroom and have been touching mens winkies all your life.

    and who made you chief Rabbi?

  8. Fargo is an all time classic of a film.

    The 'bumbling' female US cop plays a superb part.

    Watch and enjoy!!
  9. You should try watching 'There will be blood' then. I think it may just tip you over the edge!

    Was that them aswell???

    7.5 Hours!!

    What a steaming pile of was more melodramatic than class 4b of Springmeads "speshul" school's nativity play this year, you know the one, when the lad dressed as the donkey fudged up in his strides and fell off the stage drooling and someone realised the "star" was actually a Balloon and the entire cast all ran after it frothing from their large round heads...

    WTF was Daniel Day Lewis doing dressed up (and acting as) Dick Dastardly?

    why can't they just have the balls to admit they can't think of endings for their films and do what Spike Milligan did at the end of his sketches, when he just wandered off muttering "whadd're we gonna do now?" repeatedly...

    I mean, in an ideal world, reading the script, and seeing "And then, god botherer gets beaten to death with bowling pin, and lead actor sits and giggles" gets my vote, but not if I've just wasted my life for 2.5 hours building up to it.... why didn't he just pan the f uck out of him 30 minutes in and I could've been doing something less boring like counting my head.
  11. Nah it wasn't but what a shocking film.

    I watched 'No country for old men' the following day. Missed the end as it looked like an opportune moment to make a brew with them sat around the table spouting nonsense. Poked my head back in and was left rather confused that it had ended.
  12. You are seriously having a go at a film because of the quality of joints?
    Sorry to be a bit blunt (No pun intended), but that's pretty sad. I feel bad for you that it's got to you that much.

    It's a bit clear you just don't seem to get it - or film in general for that matter. My advice? Don't watch any ever again.

    Just practise rolling those joints, it's such an amazing skill - and it really opens doors for you!
  13. The Cohen brothers are superb, 'O Brother Where art Thou' is one of the best films I have seen, ever.

    I am surprised that you don't seem to get their tounge in cheek approach. to subtle?

    I would be interested to know what you would like?
  14. Not Cohen Brothers but Syriana (George Clooney) and Babel (Brad Pitt & others) are also two films well worthy of seeing again.

    The most recent film I have seen which I would recommend unreservedly is 'The Lives of Others' which portrays life under the Stasi in East Germany. Its in german with subtitles but this just adds to its appeal.