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Cocaine and cookers

Fire protected kitchens? In a married quarter? I very much doubt it. You might have fire resistant doors, but pound to a pinch of shit, all the furniture, finishes and general personal goodies would not be non-combustible. So a small localised fire quickly leads to voluminous quantities of toxic smoke, through the propped open "fire" doors and into the lungs of the pad, his missus and his little cherubs. No better than singlies in the block then.
 
But what about the EGG BANJO?
 
I once stayed in transit lines. A sergeant advised me not to use the electric kettle. "Its not a good idea" was all he would say.

Turns out they had privatised services on the base. The provider put electric kettles in each room, so it could shut the kitchens out of hours. They took away the free laundry and put in dollar coin washing machines.

Tight arse soldiers then took to boiling socks and undies in the kettles. :(
 
Fire protected kitchens? In a married quarter? I very much doubt it. You might have fire resistant doors, but pound to a pinch of shit, all the furniture, finishes and general personal goodies would not be non-combustible. So a small localised fire quickly leads to voluminous quantities of toxic smoke, through the propped open "fire" doors and into the lungs of the pad, his missus and his little cherubs. No better than singlies in the block then.

Don’t bother reading the thread then, just find a phrase or a bit of a post and quote it completely out of context. It really doesn’t make people look very clever when they do that ^~
 

ugly

LE
Moderator
Its the digital equivalent of butting in half way through!
 
Always thought that the whole no cookers in the block scenario is something that's come down due to the fact that if we could cook in the block, then not many would use a PAYD cookhouse.

Funny that. PAYD was loudly and repeatedly trumpeted as "Choice". No much f**king choice with no cooking facilities in the block and only one provider on a camp miles from anywhere
 
Actually, on a quite day or night with no wind around. you can smell hexamine burning while you are turning your mess tin into a crusty corned beef container. If the Russians hordes had steamed across the border into the west, hexamine may well have been our undoing. I mean, what's the point of all those elaborate hides etc if the ******* can just smell you!

Interesting to know that it can still be as petty as it used to be when I was in although that was mostly in training, not actually in the battalion.
The TA Them that we dug out of their hide in the FRG got around it by eating their stew cold. Eurgh. We got around the risk of them coming back in the night and dragging us away for amusement, by sharing our proper food with them. They didn't even have a spoon between them, so we lent them ours.

We stood around acting like butlers for a couple of hours while they ate themselves to a standstill. Seemed to make sense at the time. I would have thought the Taliban couldn't smell us over their own pong, however.
 
Funny that. PAYD was loudly and repeatedly trumpeted as "Choice". No much f**king choice with no cooking facilities in the block and only one provider on a camp miles from anywhere
Take it or leave it - thats a choice.
 
Funny that. PAYD was loudly and repeatedly trumpeted as "Choice". No much f**king choice with no cooking facilities in the block and only one provider on a camp miles from anywhere

There's loads of choice under PAYD.

The contractor chooses whether or not they can be bothered to offer the range of food they're contracted to provide. They choose whether or not to bother with decent quality food (although 95% of them seem to have made the same decision). They choose whether to have staff who know what they're doing or whether a sub-minimum wage Gurkha wife who needs retraining between every customer at her till will do (they all seem to have the same answer to that one too). Whether the cookhouse should open for their contracted hours or just when they feel like it. Whether the shop should be a half decent facility for their customers or an overpriced dump selling shite.

How many choices are needed?
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
Funny that. PAYD was loudly and repeatedly trumpeted as "Choice". No much f**king choice with no cooking facilities in the block and only one provider on a camp miles from anywhere

With Crown Immunity being long gone I thought there were rules against this kind of monopoly.


No, not the fecking game.
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer

ugly

LE
Moderator
Portable appliance test only needed after 12 months
 
With Crown Immunity being long gone I thought there were rules against this kind of monopoly.


No, not the fecking game.

Its not really a monopoly, its not like (pre slam) most places ever had proper kitchen, before the increase in commonwealth soldiers (who do a lot of cooking) most soldiers thought pot noodle was the height of culinary experience.
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
Portable appliance test only needed after 12 months
Stick a chain on the kettle as you would with a missus.
 

napier

LE
Moderator
Kit Reviewer
A few years ago I organised a cooking class for the SLIVs based on Jamie Oliver's 'pass it on' model. The Master Chef set up OFCS in the hangar and mil chefs taught a simple recipe capable of being cooked in the kitchenettes with standard issued microwave, etc. to the first few troops, who then taught their oppo, and so on. We produced a cookbook of simple meals, complete with advice on food purchase, storage, etc. I approached Jamie Oliver's company to see about publicity and they were very interested - however I received a call before the big day from an SO1 at LAND who forbade me to publicise the event as 'it would show up that PAYD wasn't working'. My counter argument that the guys were being taught a useful life skill that the Army should boast about cut no ice.

Arrseholes
 
Paradigm phones are far cheaper than a mobile phone.

Cheaper than using a UK O2 or Vodafone etc. yes. But considerably more expensive than using a Afghan AWCC or ROSHAN sim card - $30 a month lets me call home and speak to the wife and nipper every night for 5-10 minutes at a time.

The most recent one was that you can't use your iPhone as an iPod in the gym - even on "Flight mode", as it's a security risk. Fûcking how? Fick das fûr ein spiel soldats, I'm listening to my tunes in the gym and no cûnts going to stop me.

Then you've got the rules being pushed out by the JBO that you can have a UK mobile in theatre, I wish the tw@ts would get their story straight.
 
What a load of tosh. After the bar closed on a Friday night, the badgeman if he was in, used to have us get a couple or three cookers on the go for wurst and beans in the mess dining room.
 
D

Deleted 4886

Guest
A few years ago I organised a cooking class for the SLIVs based on Jamie Oliver's 'pass it on' model. The Master Chef set up OFCS in the hangar and mil chefs taught a simple recipe capable of being cooked in the kitchenettes with standard issued microwave, etc. to the first few troops, who then taught their oppo, and so on. We produced a cookbook of simple meals, complete with advice on food purchase, storage, etc. I approached Jamie Oliver's company to see about publicity and they were very interested - however I received a call before the big day from an SO1 at LAND who forbade me to publicise the event as 'it would show up that PAYD wasn't working'. My counter argument that the guys were being taught a useful life skill that the Army should boast about cut no ice.

Arrseholes
Maybe find a way to post it here as a pdf- I'm always looking for single menu ideas. As for the SO1- I concur.
 
Back in the day , in cooking was the in thing. What , with the cook house offerings totally rank , cant be arsed to walk to the NAAFI , just get yer stove out in your room. No money for gyros , fuck it I'll just make some super noodles at four in the morning.
" but supa , you might burn the block down "

" yeah , so fucking what mate ? fucking starving mate "

Squaddies , lazy cunts to a man.
 

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