Read the guide. They had just re-written it in 2000 when I first had to knock on the door of some poor departed soul's mother (a rather ghastly suicide). The guide was a great help, as were the people at PS thingy/Comp Cas (in old money) who I spoke to regularly throughout the time from prior to door knocking up to the funeral. And don't be afraid to talk to people about how hard it is.